I am unable to elaborate further because the whole sorry saga is still sub judice.
Suffice to say that I have lifted my game, and my line of sight.
I have discovered the fascinating subject of plucked, pruned, and partially bulldozed eyebrows.
Personally I have always considered bushy eyebrows to be an attractive component of womens natural beauty. I am however cognisant of the fact that I possess perhaps more than my fair share of peculiarities.
What I now see both intrigues and amuses me.
Faces where eyes are enclosed within scrawny quotation marks. (they used to be called inverted commas until someone messed with my language)
Each mark an elongated island within a sea of angry crimson bearing witness to the pain and suffering which must have been required during the manufacturing process.
It should be noted for purposes of balanced non-sexist reporting, that I am equally perplexed by the early twentieth century phenomenon of men sporting "pencil thin moustaches" as an underscore for their probisci.
Humans certainly do come up with some imaginative and unsuccessful procedures to improve upon what is natural and beautiful.
Next port of call; tattoos.
After that I will probably have offended 100% of my readers and The Bucket will rightfully float into unused rusting oblivion at the edge of cyberspace.