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Flogging life back into the dead horse

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pest  n  1. an annoying person or thing.
              2. any organism that damages crops or injures or irritates
                  livestock or man.
or GOF’s definition;
          3. any living organism which, as a result of ignorance or a changed environment, increases its population to such an extent that it needs to invade areas beyond the boundaries of its normal habitat causing detriment to all other living organisms within that new habitat.     eg  man.

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My recent submission  supporting the introduction of Mohr’s Law proved to be almost as popular as a swarm of fire ants invading the annual Nudist’s Picnic.

All my fault.

I forgot to include the most compelling evidence of all.
The results of my very own animal testing trials.
Two modest examples follow, but firstly a reminder of
“Mohr’s Law”;

“It is an offense to cause harm, attempt to cause harm, or behave in a manner likely to cause harm.”

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I have been animal-testing Mohr’s Law for the past 2 decades in my immediate local jurisdiction (where it is known as GOF’s Law) because of the practical deficiencies and inherent stupidity fineprinted into some of the existing laws of this country.

An example is the “Australian Fauna Protection Act” which prohibits GOF, as a human, from causing any sort of discomfort or distress to venomous Brown Tree Snakes even when they fall from the ceiling onto Mrs GOF’s snoozing head in the middle of the night.

This sort of behaviour by a snake does however seriously contravene GOF’s Law by “causing harm” to Mrs GOF,
(primarily psychological) so a Court hearing is hastily convened, considers all available evidence, then passes judgement on the defendant.
The wheels of justice revolve rapidly under GOF’s Law.
Sentences invariably bring into play the well-worn snake stick which permanently resides near the front door of Judge GOF’s Chambers.

snake stick

Similarly, large white-tailed rats, at the rate of at least one hundred each year, mistakenly consider themselves to be fully protected and immune from any sort of punitive action from humans under the “Queensland Native Fauna Conservation Act 1987.”

Unfortunately however they fall foul of GOF’s Law by straying from their designated National Park habitat to take up a warmer, drier, and altogether more comfortable residence in a house which they did not build or even contribute financially towards.

GOF’s Law’s enshrines the principle that a homeowners abode is his or hers or undecided’s personal temple.

It is not an acceptable venue in which invaders should be allowed to run around willy nilly urinating, defecating, chewing up wooden framing, insulation and electrical wiring, or spreading the debilitating Leptospirosis disease.

The “causing harm” clause once again comes into legal play.

GOF’s Law takes precedence over any conflicting impractical legislation dreamed up by office-bound public servants, and it  empowers the homeowner to protect property with deterrents.

deterrents

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So there you have it…..Mohr’s Law has protected my domestic sovereignty for more than twenty years.
No uprisings, lawlessness, graffiti, sedition, public lewdness or ram raids, and not a single lawyer has ever been sighted here since the inception of the trial.

Now it’s time to move on from animal testing to the next phase.

I will forward this practical evidence of Mohr’s Law in action, along with my previous proposal, to the Attorney General who will then undoubtedly replace every stupid law of the land with Mohr’s Law, and furthermore, extend the boundaries of the current GOF Jurisdiction to include all of continental Australia.

I’m so excited. Only six more weeks to go until the Queen’s Birthday Honors List is announced.   “Sir GOF…..for services rendered to the Judiciary.”…….ahhh yes…….you finally made it, son.

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Editors note;

The Bucket’s “comment” facility is not a democratically operated forum provided for the purpose of crucifying GOF for his treatment of animals.

It will however entertain endorsements for his upcoming knighthood, and inevitable elevation to the position of Chief Justice of Australia, as well as the usual sharing of wisdom by his friends.

Criticism of his animal welfare record will be accepted (very temporarily) from anyone who, like GOF, might have spent at least 30 years replanting and regenerating more than 30 acres of rainforest for the designated purposes of soil conservation and native animal habitat.

GOF thinks he has earned the common-sense right to protect his 120 cubic metres of earthly human refuge from all invaders as he sees fit.

Mohr’s Law ** (+ The dysfunctional Bucket)

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Edit April 05;   The Bucket is going into wet season hibernation due to a lack of solar power and an abundance of associated Goffly Malaise.

The Bucket   will      r  e  s  u  m  e         w     h     e     n ………….   zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

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(The most entertaining and down-to-earth little book I have read in the last decade is Les Mohr’s “The Dead Horses”

Mohr philosophophizes with Aussie humour and irreverence upon various activities and concepts including God, political correctness, sport, love, festering, marriage, and “The case for selling women”  in a series of 32 short essays.
I am indebted to the part he played in reinforcing my own thoughts, conclusions and life experience, and for inspiring me to write the following rant article.)

** My wording. Mohr’s modesty prevented him naming the law after himself.

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Occasionally in the past I have chosen to point out deficiencies that, as a humble farmer and gardener, I observe in the way Australia’s judicial system functions.

Rather than being a simple and effective system for maintaining law and order, it is primarily a complicated entrenched framework which ensures that the principal players, i.e. judges, lawyers and legal draughtsmen have an institutionalised means to syphon off the maximum amount of money over the longest possible period of time from plaintiffs, defendants and the public purse.

The present adversarial system encourages courtrooms to become theatres for case-winning acting performances rather than practical places for handing out considered, timely, effective and equitable justice.

That I am able to bring you this truth is largely due to the way I was treated by the legal system on one occasion thirty two years ago, following which I made an irrevocable decision to never again attempt to obtain justice from this unwieldy, expensive, self-serving industry.

Our present system is a deeply entrenched and untouchable relic of the past.
It is unaffordable and inaccessible to those in greatest need.
It is also a disgrace that innocence or guilt can be determined by the degree of character assassination inflicted upon litigants (and witnesses) by opposing lawyers.

As Mohr states;

“The legal profession has hijacked the opportunity for common sense and with it justice for ordinary people.”

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Mohr has a solution.

Abolish every law in the statute books, then replace all of those laws with just one;

Mohr’s Law **

It is an offence to cause harm, attempt to cause harm, or behave in a manner likely to cause harm.

There will be no necessity for “fine print” and endless pedantic legal argument.
One simple law which effectively covers everything from slander to physical violence, fraud or environmental vandalism.

Having introduced this level of simplicity, all that is required of
the justice system is the determination by judges and juries of  “extent of harm” caused, then the handing out of sentences commensurate with the “degree of harm” caused.

I have a suspicion that my Dad, who was a Justice of the Peace and occasional assistant in the Magistrate’s Court, would have concluded that Mohr’s Law represents an unsophisticated, unwelcome and flawed attempt to erode the foundations of our established system of British Justice.
Perhaps it is, or just maybe the principle behind it deserves more than a passing glance, for the present justice system is beyond the reach and comprehension of most Australians.

It may be no coincidence that both Mohr and I (separately) spent many of our younger years working with village people in Papua New Guinea and accordingly now view the world from a different perspective knowing that civilisation and simplicity need not necessarily be mutually exclusive.

Mohr’s Law has approximately zero chance of ever being taken seriously by the Establishment. Judicial reform is not exactly music to the ears of all the rich and powerful lawyers and politicians who have vested interests in maintaining Australia’s legal status quo.

I applaud Mohr’s Law for it’s promise of judicial common sense, a commodity which is increasingly absent from the deliberations of, and sentencing applied by Australia’s legal system.

It is more concerned with playing the games that lawyers play.

.

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