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My car is a bomb.

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MY CAR IS A BOMB

 
I bought this new vee-hickle,
A green and purple van,
From Yakuza Motors Incorporated
At Fukushima in Japan.
They assembled it from spare parts
Found scattered up the street,
On rooftops and in trees and
Under slabs of thick concrete.

The seats are radioactive.
It runs on nuclear power.
I outrun all the cops doin’
Two hundred miles an hour.
I fill ‘er up with uranium.
Special blend of two three five.
A single rod for every gear,
Plus two for overdrive.

The chain reaction starts by
Pushing pedal to the floor.
Smokin’ beryllium out the back
You can hear my turbines roar.
But I’ve got a little problem
That worries me somewhat;
Festering ulcers up my nose
With pustules oozing snot.

There’s lesions on my larynx,
Cysts and blisters down below,
And I illuminate the neighbourhood
With my incandescent glow.
I’m sure the car is not to blame.
It’s the vindaloo I ate,
At Mother India Restaurant
Wot’s caused this deathly fate.
.
********************************************

 

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About GOF

"Life is like a sewer. What you get out of it, depends upon what you put into it." (Tom Lehrer)

21 responses »

  1. Laugh.Out.Loud!!!

    Reply
  2. LOL! Reminds me a little of Monty Python’s Medical Love song. πŸ™‚

    Reply
  3. Reblogged this on opinions expressed may be incorrect and commented:
    GOF is a gentleman and a scholar–who sometimes writes romantic poetry.

    Reply
  4. I think you passed me on Lindbergh (hilarious, ‘dated’ reference to the old drag racing–illegal–strip in St. Louis County back when I was a kid).

    Reply
    • If it’s longer than 6 months ago I have no memory of it. (I’ve been learning from a few high profile Australians defending themselves in court on assorted charges.)

      Reply
      • Wise to forget alleged past activities! I forever recall being a PASSENGER in a drag race where the other car (hilarious to us young hoodlums) crashed into another car (everybody was okay — as far as the crash went, cars not so much)….BUT the kid got his arse beaten by the man he’d run into, being a miscreant!

        Oh, what larks! Allegedly.

        Reply
  5. What an incredible poet you are, GOF! I don’t think I’ll ask you to take me for a spin. 😯

    Reply
  6. It must be the rainy season giving you too much time to think.

    Reply
  7. Hahaha! No, it couldn’t possibly be the car! (Spicy food does that to me, too. πŸ˜€ )

    Reply
  8. Nuclear waste AND curry? You’re going to have glowing bodily fluids for at least a year.

    Reply

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