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Things up with which I must put.

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1.   A wife whose breakfast-time summaries of TV programs she watched last night take longer than the actual programs.

2.   The only two-legged grandsomething I’m ever going to get from my daughter will most likely be a foul-mouthed kleptomaniac cockatoo or an unbalanced double-amputee wombat which she has adopted from Animal Welfare.

3.   Timmy the new kitten and Kebba our dysfunctional pig dog are shamelessly flouting the laws of nature.

It’s very fortunate that at least one person in this family is devoid of peculiarity. You may consider me to be like an electronic room deodoriser…… spurting out fragrant poofs of wisdom and sensibility ad libitum all over my fiefdom to overpower the foul absurdities which surround me.

It is hard being normal.

Now if you don’t mind I’d like to go now and finish writing my current academic gift to mankind; “Digital procedures for estimating core temperature and determining textural anomalies in fresh cassowary faecal deposits.”

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Type 72 textured cassowary poop

Type 72 textured cassowary poop




About GOF

"Life is like a sewer. What you get out of it, depends upon what you put into it." (Tom Lehrer)

36 responses »

  1. For a moment there, I thought you had a photo of a certain politician there at the top. Then I realised it was too good looking.

    • The photo perhaps illustrates current political policy Snowy, until such time as a cassowary gobbles up the politician, in which case he would eventually look like this 🙂

  2. LOL at Snowy and his politician mis-identification. It’s amazing how difficult they are to distinguish from type 72 Cassowary shit and type 38 cow pats.

    A big awwwwwwwww of Kebba and Timmy pics. They love each other! And Timmy thinks he has a mommy! So cute!

    Now why do you call Kebba a pig dog?

    Cassowary piles are so colorful. Yes, once again, my mind is still on the poop.

    • I salute you for publishing your study into type 38 cow pats Lauri. Some people have criticised our scholarship and called it ‘crap’.

      Kebba immediately adopted Timmy. Kebs is a bull-arab, a breed specifically bred to hunt wild pigs.

      The cassowary poop is infinitely variable and an essential process for the germination of some rainforest tree seeds.

  3. I am not even going to think about the last photo. I hope I can block it out enough to sleep tonight.
    Summaries of TV programs she watched last night take longer than the actual programs – Mr FD exactly and he knows I am not interested. It is worse when trapped in a moving vehicle with him and he starts on a movie or worse still a dream…lalalalalalal
    GOF – I thought you gave up normal in 1964.

    • Sorry FD…next time I will censor offensive pictures. Can’t have you losing sleep.
      LOL at your car experience…….it happens to me once a week on the 2-hour drive down the mountain. Lots of lalala’ing required to cope with it.

      I think 1948 is closer to the correct year FD. 🙂

  4. I am not ashamed to admit that the last photo made me laugh. Kebba’s expression is priceless. And you know what they say about normal – it’s just a setting on a washing machine.

  5. “It is hard being normal.”

    Very true indeed. And that’s why I gave up trying.

    • When you arrive here in June with your mouldy bagpipes, wheelbarrow of potato salad and ice skates I’ll just fine-tune your attitude to make you normal again Lance. You’re welcome…..we can’t have a world full of abnormality.

  6. When I think of you, ‘fragrant poufs’ always is the first thing that floats out and disperses.

    Seriously, though, those photos ought to be in a local newspaper or nowadays, I suppose website for local news. SOOOOO CUUUUUUTE!

    • It’s probably best that you don’t call me a ‘fragrant poof’ in public Lily…….lets just keep it between the two of us. 🙂

      Timmy and Kebba are really cute together although once when Timmy tried to share the dog’s bone Kebs put a fang-hole through the kittens eyelid.

  7. Aw, precious! What…. is Timmy doing between Kebba’s legs there?

    Seriously, the recaps are awesome. When I was irrevocably hooked on Lost, I relied on the recaps for stuff I’d missed or didn’t understand and for insight and crackpot theories about the show I’d never have thought of myself. Plus, they can be wicked funny. I’m partial to

  8. Oh come on GOF, we all know wombats are way cuter than babies. Even wombats with half the normal number of legs….. 😀

    • Inga knows she has my total support when it comes non-production of offspring. She can always drop her dysfunctional wombat back on the steps of Animal Welfare…..doing the same with human babies is sometimes frowned upon.

      • In America we assume this is what happens in functional countries… the US however it’s the norm to hear the “so when are you going to start a family” nonsense by the time girls move out of the house. In the meantime hospitals have had to set up “safe havens”, a euphemism for hospital locations where unwanted babies can be dropped off and the parents are guaranteed they won’t be arrested……

        • I don’t think we have such ‘safe havens’ here. Sometimes newborn babies are dropped outside hospitals or welfare organisations, but the police always seem to get involved on the basis that they are ‘concerned for the welfare of the mother’. I’ve never heard if there are legal ramifications for these mothers.

          • Oh wow, interesting. One has to wonder who’s “interested” in the “welfare” of the father, in those cases. At least Australia has its health care system together, here many parents make decisions forced on them by unaffordable hospital and medical bills.

            • Emmy I’m so glad that “when are you having kids?” thing isn’t prevalent over here – from the bits and pieces I read on the internet, it really does seem to be shoved down your throat in the US. It must be maddening.

              • People who say those things are such wide-eyed evangelicals it’s easy to laugh at them though I should qualify that in our more liberal community it’s not as soclalily acceptable to say such invasive things as it would be elsewhere. It’s also easy to turn the tables on a question like this as the interrogator is often very naive and it’s fun to play games with them.

  9. Reblogged this on awesome, yet modest, which is nice and commented:
    The cutest thing you’ve ever seen.

  10. normal ……….

    My dinnertime conversation starts with me asking, “Did anything interesting happen today?” and continues with my wife recounting every dog, cat, squirrel, rabbit, police car, ambulance, etc. that she saw as she rode her bike around town.

    In other words, the short answer would be “No” … but she’s not prone to short answers.

    As for recounting TV shows – she’d have to stay awake in order to do that …

  11. Aww – such cute photos excluding the poo shot. LOL@ your breakfast chats – I once told a coworker that I’d never seen an episode of Sex and the City and she proceeded to go over the entire 6 seasons!! Luckily she managed to condense it into 2+ hours ….. one of the disadvantages of being a receptionist is that you can’t get up and walk away from people!

    • LOL at your suffering the Sex and the City re-runs…..fortunately I can get up and disappear…..she never notices that I’m gone and the pets get to listen to the TV updates. 🙂


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