RSS Feed

Activ8 satellite internet is S***.

Posted on

Update; 24 March 2014.  Activ8 satellite internet unworkable. No improvement likely for 20 months when new NBN satellite launched. No other satellite company is accepting new customers until then.  I’m searching for a trace of wireless internet signal by climbing a rainforest tree at the top of the hill 100 yards from my house.  Tree not tall enough. Fertilising it to make the bastard grow quicker.  Probably have to settle for one day per week internet when we travel to town. I’m missing all my blog friends.  Please pray for rapid growth of my internet tree.


This is an exercise in restraint, therefore S*** = Slow.

Activ8 is Australia’s largest provider of rural satellite internet services. It is also expensive at $30 for a 2GB month. For the last 10 days it has been even slower than the worst dialup speeds I suffered through last century.  It is effectively unusable and until they fix it or I can find an alternate provider I’ve had to stop blogging.  Thank you to all my blog friends for understanding my predicament.  Meanwhile, in the spirit of restraint, a little note to the company;
*      *      *      *      *      *      *      *      *       *      *      *      *      *      *      *

Dear Mr 8,         
You’ve given me cause to deliber8 and remonstr8 against your use of the prefix ‘Activ’. I need to ber8 and castig8 you for allowing your service to deterior8 and depreci8 until I can no longer toler8 it. Unless you amelior8, mitig8 or compens8 it will culmin8 with me needing to medic8 and litig8, before I flagell8, strangul8 and decapit8 you.
Fix the bastard internet Mr 8,


*      *      *      *      *      *      *      *      *       *      *      *      *      *      *      *

About GOF

"Life is like a sewer. What you get out of it, depends upon what you put into it." (Tom Lehrer)

22 responses »

  1. Very frustrating, GOF, but I’m sure your sense of humour will see you through the crisis. You may like to search here to see if you are on the list for fixed NBN.

    • Thanks Snowy, but NBN unavailable here for years.

      I just replied to Brad and it took 3 minutes 10 seconds to post my reply…..that’s beyond ‘frustrating’…..a bloody courier pigeon with a tailwind could have delivered it to him in Cooktown quicker than that.

  2. I h8 slow intranerts.

  3. This SUCKS!

    I got reb8d for 3 months when I had no phone service at home. It took so many phone calls, literally hours. I will say that once they had a thick enough ‘file’ (or had to scroll through several pages of browser) on my issues, they got nicer and while they couldn’t HELP my situation (which was hardware on towers had broken — completely like OFF the towers), they were finally polite and always gave me recompense.

    Missed you, Big Guy!

    • Thank you Lily…..I’m going to miss all the fun in this neighbourhood too. It’s not the money aspect so much, but I don’t have too many other options….all the other satellite companies are overloaded with customers too. I might try blogging at 4am when hopefully all the other millions who don’t deserve internet as much as me will still be asleep.

  4. I was waiting for defenestr8.

    Look, it’s really not fair for you to have mesmerising good looks, superior intellect AND fast internet. In unrelated news, can I borrow some money?

    • “I was waiting for defenestr8.”
      No verbosity to be found on this blog Inga.

      Where the hell did you acquire such finely honed skills of sarcasm? Perhaps you could give me a refresher course one day.
      I’ll send you a million bucks by internet transfer. Right NOW. At the present rate of interweb efficiency you should get it circa 2054.

  5. Blog looks pretty. Shame about the Actavite. Threaten a move to iinet or Westnet.

    • Thanks Brad. I tried the threat but they don’t care because Westnet uses the same satellite as Activ8 and apparently all providers are having the same problem of too many customers. Iinet (Westnet) are not accepting new customers until a new NBN satellite is launched next year. Please let me know if users are having similar problems to me in your area and if you ever hear that another company provides a better service.

  6. How about you buy a big roll of network cable and plug into my ADSL? Just tie one end off at your place and let it roll out the back of your car next time you come to Mt. Sheridan

    • Careful what you wish for Mike…’ll end up with the bill for all the porn I watch. 🙂
      It’s quite amazing how woeful the service has become in such a short period of time. Two minutes to load a Google search page….it really is a lot worse than the old dialup. Apparently all satellite providers have the same problem at the moment….too many customers with no relief in sight until NBN launch new satellites in 2015. Meantime I’ll try blogging early mornings and if that doesn’t work experiment with wireless…..maybe build a little Internet Shack on top of the hill where there is marginal mobile reception and find an antenna guy to boost the signal.

  7. Ugh, my sympathies. At least dial-up is more or less reliable, no? Click on something, get up and do something else for half an hour, and repeat. I used to run my blog on dial-up up here in the woods not too long ago.

    • We had that sort of dialup here too… the end of telephone line in the bush. Click on a small 300kb internet picture then go have a cup of coffee while it loaded.
      I don’t know why this satellite is suddenly so slow. Their excuse is ‘too many users’…..I’m up at 3.30 am this morning to avoid these inconsiderate ‘users’ and it’s still bad. Now, lets see how long it takes to load this comment…….cup of coffee time 🙂

  8. Good thing you didn’t ‘t underestim8 the understanding nature of your blog followers. We appreci8 you letting us know your predicament. In the meantime we hope Active8 get cre8tive and fix the problem.

  9. Ah, even the high speed stuff sucks sometimes. If it’s not the connection, it’s bloody IE, Windows 8, some stupid gnats crawling around inside the hard drive. I certainly hate when you’re absent from WP, GOF. Use a language these con artists understand – send a pit bull after them.

    • I’m missing all my blog friends already Emmy….. the satellite internet system in Australia seems to be stuffed until the end of 2015 when a new satellite is launched. I’m working on some wireless alternatives.

  10. What a bloody joke. :-/

    • Indeed….a very bad joke, but it’s giving me the opportunity to play around with USB modems and antennas and long poles and little sheds on top of the hill. 🙂

      Now let’s see how many cups of tea it takes to load this comment.

  11. Pingback: postcard, G’Day! Makes me happy as Larry?!? | opinions expressed may be incorrect

Leave a Reply to Lauri Cancel reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: