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It was a very good year

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(I have taken the liberty of improving and personalising the lyrics of this old Frank Sinatra song.)

When I was seventeen
It was a very good year.
It was a very good year for small town girls
With personal toys
And hot country boys
Whose minds were unclean
When I was seventeen.

When I was twenty one
It was an lucrative year.
It was an lucrative year for my solvency.
Seven bank robberies,
With consummate ease,
Then went on the run
When I was twenty one.

When I was thirty five
It was a polarizing year.
It was a polarizing year for psychotic me.
With the shock therapies,
Thousand volt remedies,
I was fryin’ alive
When I was thirty five.

When I was fifty four
It was a penitential year.
It was a penitential year when lovers and wives
Fed my bare pink arse
To bull-ants in the grass
Then showed me the door
When I was fifty four.

When I was seventy two
It was a transitional year.
It was a transitional year with Doctor Hackett.
He chopped off some bits
And added silicone tits.
So I felt perky and new
When I was seventy two.

And now I’m ninety eight
It is a very good year.
It is a very good year for GOF  O.B.E.    **
Who fixed up this song
When it was rote rong.
I’m the Poet Laureate,
Now that I’m ninety eight.

*      *      *      *      *      *      *      *      *      *      *      *      *

** Order of the British Empire.

Elevation to Knighthood must surely be imminent.

*      *      *      *      *      *      *      *      *      *      *      *      *

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About GOF

"Life is like a sewer. What you get out of it, depends upon what you put into it." (Tom Lehrer)

19 responses »

  1. I start laughing before I even start reading the lyrics whenever I see you have written a poem.
    Very good! *Applause*

    Reply
  2. Terrific GOF! LOL @ “rote rong” – glad you rited it.

    Reply
  3. Oh, that’s much better.
    Thank you.

    Reply
  4. There are a thousand ad agencies just falling over themselves to sign you. I now have John Laws on my mind for some reason. Did you wear a cravat whilst writing this?

    Reply
  5. You were clearly channeling a bit of Keates there. It’s obvious. And I’m sure he’d be very proud.

    Reply
  6. A complete inventory!

    Reply
  7. O.B.E.! Well, if anyone deserves that honor, it’s you!

    Reply
  8. Your version sounds more like Tom Waits should be singing it.

    Reply

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