I don’t normally get involved in blogging quizzes, but Elise who operates a very professional and entertaining blog has
fed me to the lions nominated me to answer the following questions.
As I enjoy reading the replies of other respondents, I am happy to comply on this occasion.
What are eleven facts that we may not know about you?
Long-time readers probably know almost everything. They’ve read more indiscriminate trivia here than they ever deserved.
1. When using sporting equipment or work tools that require just one hand I am right-handed, but left-handed when they require both hands.
2. I’ve only been admitted to hospital once in my adult life. For seven days. An ingrown big toenail. Yep. One whole week.
Various tropical bacteria, fungi and worms were calling my foot ‘home’. Perhaps I should have sought earlier medical intervention.
3. At age 49, after stupidly spending the day lifting objects that would have challenged Tarzan, I collapsed in the main street of Port Douglas with breathlessness and severe chest pains. Just before I lost consciousness I told Mrs GOF to ‘call 911′.
Fortunately she didn’t listen to me and dialled the correct emergency number for Australia….. triple zero.
Bloody Americans nearly killed me.
After some oxygen and a couple of hours of being poked and prodded by medics I staged a miracle recovery and wandered off into the night a little sore but happy to be alive.
4. I am the 1974 Finschhafen Golf Club (PNG) champion.
There were only two of us playing the ‘airstrip course’, and Patrick was handicapped to a greater extent than I in terms of blood alcohol level. I still have the trophy. A $2 South Pacific Lager mug.
5. I was so terrified of 10 y.o. Fay Conn throwing rocks at me as I pedaled past her house every day on my bike in 1958, that I always rode the long way home after school to avoid her. An extra 3 miles. Someone told me years later that her behaviour was a sign that she had the hots for me. My understanding of women has not improved during the 55 years since.
6. I didn’t taste beer until I was 19. I can still take it or leave it.
7. When I was 17 my nickname was ‘Twiggy’ because the only discernible difference between her physique and mine was that I had slightly larger tits. If it wasn’t for that sexist chiffon ceiling which existed during the 1960’s I could have been a supermodel.
8. Once upon a time I smoked a pipe to look ‘cool’. I never inhaled the smoke because it seemed an unnatural and stupid thing to do, and I’ve never regretted making that choice.
9. Thirty years ago I tried working for someone else…..in a milk factory coldroom. I sacked myself after just 2 days to save management the trouble, and I’ve been self-employed ever since. This present employer is not perfect, but he is for the most part, tolerant of my many peculiarities.
10. In primary school I was the last kid in my class to gain a Herald Learn To Swim Certificate. (30 feet across the shallow end of the Castlemaine Municipal pool). This only occurred after my arms grew long enough to touch the bottom as I went.
Swimming remains for me “staying alive in water”.
11. I have extraordinarily long toes. All the better with which to grip the planet and avoid being flung off into space. I passed this genetic gift onto my kids who are eternally grateful, because not one of them has vanished through the troposphere, even though the planet is moving through space at 45,000 mph.
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Now Elyse wants to know even more. Blame her.
Q. Were you closer to your Mum or Dad?
A. Mum. Dad was always unwell or in hospital.
Q. First moment in history that you remember.
A. Baby Jesus being born. No, sorry…Cuban missile crisis.
Q. What is your favourite pet ever.
A. I have a policy of not becoming too emotionally attached to pets or people ‘cos eventually they get sick and die and that makes me sad. My policy could be flawed, ‘cos sometimes it doesn’t work.
Q. Funniest event in your life.
A. Disembarking a tractor when the long hand-throttle lever went up my trouser-leg leaving me dangling off to the side, suspended in mid air like a puppet with a stick up it’s arse, while the tractor was screaming it’s guts out. Well Mrs GOF thought it was funny.
I failed to find amusement.
Q. First insult you delivered and why the recipient deserved it.
A. “Shutup, bugger, bum” in Grade 1 to the world in general, because they were the first naughty words I learned and the universe deserved to be a witness to my evolving command of language.
Q. What is your first memory.
A. At age four I had an imaginary friend who lived in a real abandoned miner’s cottage beside the road near Daylesford.
His name was Ik.
Q. What do you dislike most about blogging.
A. ‘Friend collectors’ who feign interest but never actually read anything I write. Apart from that, blogging is a wonderful privilege of living in the 21st century, and it’s all free. Thank you WordPress.
Q. Do your family and friends read this blog.
A. The Bucket is available to my immediate family and just a few trusted friends, but for the most part they get bored with all the crap that I write and sensibly find more productive ways to spend their time.
Q. How would you be using your time right now if you were not answering my stupid questions.
A. I’d be having my essential and restorative midday nanna nap. Elyse, you are a health hazard.
Q. What is your dream job.
A. I have been doing it for the last 30 years.
But then again, is it too late for me to try my hand at being a professional bra-fitter at Myers?
Q. What do you expect to be reincarnated as in the next life.
A. Sorry, I can find no evidence of any ‘next life’. This present one is all that I expect, and dammit, it’s been a thoroughly enjoyable and wonderful ride.
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Any of my blog friends up for the challenge of answering the same questions?
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