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Losing my marbles…..and a bloody big pipe.

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I consider myself no more or less prone to senior moments of forgetfulness than any other living relic of the baby boom.

There have been a couple of incidents which admittedly don’t bode well for the future, such as accusing Mrs GOF of misappropriating my spectacles, only to have it pointed out that they were residing safe and sound just north of my eyebrows where I had put them.
Then there was that other occasion when I forgot to put trousers on before I went off to church, but that, as they all said with a degree of Christian forgiveness and understatement, was no big deal.

The following incident did however send me off to check that my emergency euthanasia stock of Xanax was still where I had hidden it.
(message to self; the ‘hidden’ aspect needs to be urgently reviewed)

I lost a twenty foot long, four inch diameter, heavy duty,
PVC water pipe.  

Just before smoko (morning tea) on Christmas eve I extracted, with considerable difficulty, this pipe from amongst all the junk stored in the workshop roof space and placed it on the floor.

Fifteen minutes later, after enjoying my patented concoction of decaffeinated coffee mixed with powdered milk , cooking chocolate and hot water, I returned to find it had disappeared.  Poof!  Vanished.  No more. Absent.
Totally gone.

Then I heard what I thought was an aboriginal corroboree going on in a distant corner of GOF’s Empire. There was the haunting ‘didyontheoinking’  sound of a didgeridoo being played.  Perhaps the ancient spirits had disapproved of all the naked nymphs cavorting on their land ever since Mrs GOF departed for her PNG holiday. Maybe they only took offence at the seven grossly overweight ones whose frolicking probably caused earthly tremors of such magnitude that they were disrupting the peacefulness of the afterworld. God knows, they certainly were playing havok with my sleep pattern.

Be that as it may, I followed my ears, and discovered…..

.

.

.

.

.
Kebba the frigging dawg.

She’d carted my pipe 120 yards down the paddock and discovered along the way that she could play a didgeridoo by shoving her nose into the end and snorting into it.
She was last seen beating down the regrowth and giant brambles and heading south east with the pipe in tow. The nearest neighbour in that direction is 20 miles away, so if you live in Innisfail and discover a $400 dog attached to a $100 pipe would you please kindly return the pipe.

*      *      *     *      *      *      *      *      *      *      *      *      *      *      *      *

Probably culprit

Probable culprit

Kebba the didgeridoo player

Kebba the didgeridoo player

IMG_1141

Heading for Innisfail

Heading for Innisfail

Move, you bastard pipe, why should I have to do all the work.

Move, you bastard pipe, why should I have to do all the work.

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About GOF

"Life is like a sewer. What you get out of it, depends upon what you put into it." (Tom Lehrer)

36 responses »

  1. Gotta love dogs. Otherwise we would strangle the lot of them.

    Great story, GOF. And Happy Christmas (or is it the day after now for you?)

    Reply
  2. Happy bloody boxing day ya bastard!

    Reply
    • “Happy bloody boxing day ya bastard!”
      I’ll pass your message on to the pipe LOM. 🙂

      Seasons greetings to you, and may 2013 meet all your expectations.

      Reply
  3. Kebba obviously thought all Christmases had arrived at once and Santa had left one hell of a big bone! Beats the rubber oinking pig our dog got as a gift!

    Reply
    • That’s exactly right FD…..she continues to drag the pipe around the paddock…..saves me having to throw frisbees in order to exercise her.

      Reply
  4. Had you known she could do that, you could have had HER retrieve it from the stockpile for you.

    Reply
  5. To think Bobby only monkeywrenches. If he’s playing any instrument, I think it’s my nerves! http://lilyreed.wordpress.com/2012/12/25/some-of-yalls-doggin-the-christmas-workouts/

    Reply
    • My nerves are going to be shot in the wet season when the pigs start moving in, worrying about Kebba being chewed up by a large boar.

      Reply
      • Very good point. They run together, don’t they? Bobby got torn the f up by coyotes (a pack, we know because they never attack by themselves, they only attack as a pack). He mended and lived to do his own arse-kicking. Maybe Kebba can put the bluff on them if not give ’em a bite.

        Reply
        • Kebba is uncontrollable once she gets the scent of wild animals and she’s bred to grab hold of pigs, so I fear by the time I arrive on the scene with my gun it might be too late. I think the boars are more like solo operators while to sows stick close to their litters.

          Reply
      • …Catahoulas (we talked about them & how one of mine was one) are bred for herding feral pigs http://puppydogweb.com/caninebreeds/catahoula.htm

        Reply
  6. LOL!!! That is beyond belief! I really wonder what is going through dog’s heads. I’ll bet she did think it was just a huge stick left for her to play with. So funny!
    We are at home waiting for a snowstorm to hit! Possibly up to six inches of snow! And we have tons of food and all the kids are safely here, so this will be fun!

    Reply
    • It’s so funny I really should try and get a video. She retrieves anything that got my scent on it. Maybe I really stink and she’s trying to remove the source of the stench as far away as possible.

      I’m delighted that you are getting the snowstorm that you’ve been waiting for. Happy white new year to you all including your pooches.

      Reply
  7. LOL! We need some audio! I’ve never heard a dogeridoo!

    Reply
    • I really should try to take a video, meanwhile here’s and example of a didgeridoo (made from hardwood trees hollowed out by termites) being played;

      Reply
  8. That is too hilarious. And you got photos, too! Good man. Thinking of us blog peeps.

    Reply
    • It was an opportunity too good to miss, but I could have done without running 240 metres to fetch my camera before the pipe disappeared into the bush. That was totally undignified.

      Reply
  9. OMG! Because maybe there IS a God after all! This is flippin’ hilarious GOF!!! LOL! 😀 I’m sitting in the expected quiet of a public library right now, trying not to choke on my stiffled need to laugh really LOUDLY! Thanks so much GOF – because I ready needed this one today! 🙂

    Reply
    • Thank you Chris…..happy to be of service and the cause of potentially unacceptable behaviour in a public library. Sometimes life is really funny.

      Reply
  10. A thoroughly satisfying read! Ha! I love your dog. He needs his own blog I think! 😀

    Reply
  11. Ha – that is so funny! I see that you’ve commented to Lauri that Kebba retrieves anything with your scent on it – something you might be grateful for should you ever get lost out there in your jungle………

    Reply
    • I tried to get a video of her ‘didgeridoo playing’ the day afterwards but all she would do was huff and puff into the pipe and no noise came out.
      LOL @ your idea of a lost-GOF retrieval system from the jungle.

      Reply

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