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An erotic Aussie love story

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Language warning;   Contains adult themes, and I have used one really naughty “f” word twice, which of course Australians only ever do in situations of extreme adversity, plus two lesser swear words and one blasphemy all of which would have resulted in my mouth being washed out with Sunlight laundry soap 55 years ago.
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Many great romances have flourished in Australia’s sparsely populated outback west of the Great Dividing Range where the size of cattle stations is measured in square miles rather than acres.
Young people, chock-a-block with raging hormones, are attracted to these remote areas to work as jackaroos, jillaroos, stockmen, camp cooks, bore runners, bookkeepers and governesses.
The isolation and harsh climate can either destroy partnerships or act as a glue holding them together. Unfortunately some love affairs are doomed to failure before they even get off the ground.

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Keith was enjoying this special time of his life. He stood over six feet tall and his magnificent physique and closely cropped red hair never failed to attract female attention on Horny Downs Station.

Despite the long hours he spent with the cattle under the searing summer sun, he knew that on most nights he would be pampered and seduced by at least one of these admirers.  There were few things he enjoyed more in life than the hour or two of languid post-coital bliss which inevitably followed these encounters.

Keith never promised commitment. It was all about the sex and there was no way he ever intended to fall head over heels in love.
All of that changed on the day Wendy arrived at Horny Downs.  Keith could scarcely believe his eyes as he took in this vision of  feminine beauty.

Screened behind the copse of coolibah and she-oak trees near the homestead, he knew she could not see him hungrily assessing her potential as a future lover.  She was petite with blonde highlights in her hair but what really attracted his attention was the most perfectly formed body he had ever seen. Keith knew that he had to possess her. He also knew that he must move quickly for there was no shortage of potential suitors for Wendy on Horny Downs.

Keith decided that tonight had to be the night.

For the remainder of the afternoon he refused to go anywhere or allow Wendy to venture very far out of his sight. His entire being was consumed with fantasies of what he could do with her. He dreamed of staring into those huge brown eyes, touching her soft downy skin, and holding her taut body firmly against his own.

Keith’s opportunity came in the cool of the evening, when, like an angelic mirage, Wendy suddenly appeared with the golden glow of sunset illuminating her perfect face, and the remainder of what should soon to be his, silhouetted against the rising full moon.

He slowly approached her, then revealed his dreams and fantasies and declared his undying love. Overcome with emotion Wendy replied;  “Now listen here big ears. You’re the tenth red fucking kangaroo to proposition me today.  Are you a total ignofuckingramis or what!  Just look at me!  I’m a wallaroo for Christ’s sake you great big dopey dipstick numbskull, so piss off and go screw your own species.”

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About GOF

"Life is like a sewer. What you get out of it, depends upon what you put into it." (Tom Lehrer)

19 responses »

  1. LOL! I never saw that punchline coming. You need to get a job writing fro movies and TV shows.

    Reply
  2. Lol!
    I thought Keith was human and the females he was wooing at night were the cows he was watching during the day.
    How wrong I was!

    Reply
  3. I was trying to figure out what breed of sheep had blonde highlights …

    Reply
  4. Sounds like my younger days.

    Reply
  5. Hilarious ending that I never saw coming! Lol 😀

    But GOF, right up to your surprise punchline, that was some very skillfully and effectively written erotica. Seriously my friend, you’ve got talent. And if while you’re reading this comment, you are thinking ‘Damn! Why couldn’t it have been a WOMAN who posted a comment like this one, instead of just another bloke?!’ I will understand and empathize. Lol 😀

    Reply

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