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How to avoid killing someone

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Living amongst mist and clouds and being surrounded by rainforest every day can occasionally lead to moments of claustrophobia-induced poor judgment and losing sight of the bigger picture.

For the past 20 years I have dealt with this affliction by regularly escaping to Newell Beach for a brief change of scenery. The sunshine, sand, solitude, and horizon of 20 miles instead of 200 yards effectively plugs this dribbling leakage of reality into the big bowl of bewilderment, and replenishes my cistern of sanity.

Normally I can recognise the symptoms, but last week I spent many hours and a few sleepless nights industriously trying to narrow down all my options to create a final “Fifty Best Ways To Cause Grievous Bodily Harm To The Meter Reader”  as retribution for the Government tampering with and taxing the water supply which I constructed 30 years ago. (story here)

When I asked Mrs GOF to help me prioritise the 23 proposals contained therein which involved the use of electricity, (AC, DC, and various combinations of each) she graciously declined and said  “GOF, I think it’s time you had a couple of days at the beach.”

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Three days later one is now of the opinion that sometimes in life, one’s health and happiness are better served by taking a higher path of dignity when dealing with the injustices perpetrated against one by ethically bankrupt bureaucracies.

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Newell is a 2 hour drive from GOF’s Paradise via the inland route.
Here are a few snaps which I took along the way just for you.

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Road from GOF’s place heading towards civilisation.

Tablelands dairy farm with Yungaburra volcanic hills in background. Normally lush green tropical pastures burnt off by recent frosts.

Harsh rocky country around the headwaters of the Mitchell River

Going down the Rex Range into Mossman

Mossman sugar cane mill

Cane train line going up the main street of Mossman…actually it’s stationary but the trains do move.

Newell Beach looking North…not a soul in sight.

Newell Beach looking South…nope, no-one there either…bloody wonderful.

My favourite place of tranquillity at the river mouth.

About GOF

"Life is like a sewer. What you get out of it, depends upon what you put into it." (Tom Lehrer)

28 responses »

  1. I’m glad you were able to overcome your urge. It’s only a moment of pleasure, and then you have all that mess of a trial and prison. Not only that, but anther meter reader would just appear to replace the first one.

  2. Sometimes a change of scenery is a good thing. I’m sure the isolation in your paradise is nice, but being socked in by the fog and having your view severely limited would be awful. Glad you got away … even gladder there weren’t any other poor souls at the beach to bother you or get bothered by you.

    And I didn’t know AC/DC was deadly … just deafening …

    • Thanks for your thoughts GOM….I suspect Vit D deficiency also has something to do with it along with grumpy old fart intolerance. I had a very enjoyable couple of days.

      Appreciate your take on AC/DC……Death by Thunderstruck….love it. 🙂

  3. Lol at GOM and his AC/DC reference.

    My sympathies to you on that blasted water meter thing. I was all in an uproar when I read about that and told my husband the whole story. We were both ready to off some meter-readers for you.
    Alas, sometimes all you can do is live with it.
    That beach is beyond wonderful!!! Pure serenity is a complete lack of humans. 🙂

    Thanks for the pics. Don’t kill anyone. It’s probably not worth it.

    • Thanks Lauri…..There are times when I still cannot believe that they’ve had the temerity to do this to us. Apparently…ahem… they also put an expensive bright blue marker post at our front gate to help the meter reader find our place, but darned if I know where it went to because it just seems to have mysteriously disappeared somewhere.

      Let’s not spoil our serenity by bumping off all the meter readers. 🙂

  4. Wow! Is that really a beach? Where are all the condos, tourists and kitch shops? Or have I been in FL too long?

    • This is just my sort of poor excuse for a beach Rich. 🙂
      I’m sure a lot of people prefer luxury accommodation, shopping opportunities and amusement rides at their beaches. If you look closely you can see two houses up on the hill in the distance. No doubt it’s only a matter of time before the condos and hotels will appear at Newell Beach too.

  5. GOF, this may very well be the best blog title EVER! Glad we won’t have to send you files in a cake. Murder is never worth it. Well, nearly never.

    • Thank you Elyse. I will be counting on you to make a very large cake composed mainly of TNT……I don’t have the patience required to use a file.

  6. Wonderful pics. Glad you made it.

  7. Could you please refrain from loitering in the middle of major highways and cane train tracks? I’ve already forked out for a father’s day card.

  8. What the heck, how am I supposed to follow that comment by Inga? I’m just not very funny. Anyway…….

    As one graphic novel character said GOF, revenge is a road that doesn’t lead anywhere. As much as those donkeys deserve payback…….maybe karma will take care of it.

    I love your thinking spot. And I’m honored you took photos for your humble readers. I felt like I was there too. The crashing waves are a thing of beauty.

    • Nah…don’t worry about Inga’s comment Amelie….it’s the last time Mrs GOF and I are going to pick up a kid off the shelf at K Mart.

      I am now officially over the ‘revenge’ stage, but I still have a few things up my sleeve for the meter reader which will provide him with some discomfort and me with some light entertainment.

      The timelessness of the tides and shifting sands at my special place reminds me of my insignificance in the overall context of the universe. It provides an uninterrupted connection to reality.

  9. Never mind the AC DC GOF, Your pen is far mightier than any sword. I cracked right up at the

    “when dealing with the injustices perpetrated against one by ethically bankrupt bureaucracies.” ouch. Course that would only hurt them if they had any ethics. 😦

    Give Mrs GOF a big hug from us. She is one hell of a spiritual guide.

    • Thank you Peter. As Amelie said, one should perhaps now leave these matters in the hand of karma.

      I’ll give Mrs GOF a hug after she’s had a shower. She’s been patting our new dog which has been rolling around in dead wallaby…..and Mrs GOF certainly is an expert on everything alcoholic….Oh sorry…that’s not what you meant……I’d better give her 2 hugs now….an extra one for my misunderstanding. 🙂

  10. Very wise, the higher path of dignity is often all that is left to us.

    • Thanks FD…wisdom and dignity unfortunately don’t come easily to me.
      Impetuosity and retribution often seem much more attractive options.

  11. Cane burns stinky! Hope you loved your trip, though!

    • Thanks MT. I quite enjoy the sweet smell that comes out of the sugar mills….someone told me it’s mostly steam that comes out of the chimney stack…..I need to do more research.

  12. Love the photos…..thanks for sharing!

    • You’re very welcome Elaine…hope they bring back some good memories for you.
      Also thinking of you today hoping the hurricane heads away from your place.

      • Thanks so much, GOF….we got lucky as Isaac moved west into the Gulf away from our coast; but of course our good fortune ended up being a mess for New Orleans.

        • I’m thankful that you were spared the wrath of Isaac Elaine, but feel sorry once again for the folk in New Orleans who, like us, have been hit by two severe storms in 7 years.


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