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Monthly Archives: July 2012

Big Mama surveillance

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On the evening of the winter solstice last month, the Annual Conference of Small Creatures was held under the Ancient Wattle situated on top of Sacred Mountain on GOF’s Paradise.

In recent years, delegates had chosen to disrespectfully heap scorn upon the Divine Creator Bubbidge for his creationary ineptitude which left GOF’s Paradise with something the wise oracular dung beetle often referred to as ‘seasonal variation’.  The general consensus was that a far superior model would have included year-round constant temperatures between 20C and 28C, with a ten-minute zephyr of breeze on the hour every hour and a shower of rain each night between ten and eleven to compensate for the daily evaporation.

This year the mood of the gathering was more sombre in light of the rumour that GOF’s Paradise would come to an end in December 2012.

In order to cover all bases, the steering committee had commissioned renowned American artist and sculptor Reverend W. Wood-Pecker to carve an image of Creator Bubbidge into the trunk of the Ancient Wattle.
The life-sized work, precisely two and a half poofteenths high and three-eighths wide was unveiled at the beginning of the conference to the massed flapping of wings and thumping of thoraxes from the gathered devotees.

After the din had died down Conference carried a Motion of No Confidence in the management of GOF’s Paradise, particularly in regard to surveillance. It was noted that in recent times anything which moved, immediately had Mrs GOF’s macro camera lens shoved into it’s face.

The following evidence was tendered to Conference;

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Small spider on a dead gladioli flower

Garden spider hanging out on lemon grass

Blue fly peering at Mrs GOF over a taro leaf

Grasshopper nymph sunbaking on banana leaf

Moulting locust under choko leaves

Native bees harvesting hippeastrum flower nectar

Tiny insect on brachiaria grass flower head