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A granddaughter named Roman

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Great joy.

Behold, into the GOF Family a grandchild hath come.

My family does not discriminate on the grounds of ethnicity, religion or, it would seem, species.  I now have a rabbit granddaughter.

Inga  and her most recent arrival are domiciled at the other end of Australia down towards Antarctica. The adopted grown-up bunny-child is so technologically savvy that she was able to send Mrs GOF the following communication on her mobile phone the other day.

"Hi Grandma"

What did I get?  Zero.  Zilch.  I was beginning to think that little fluffy nerd-ears had probably already accessed and discovered that Grandpa GOF half a century ago was responsible for exterminating a very large number of her ancestors.

So yesterday it was a great relief when I received the following email from little Buggalugs.

*       *       *       *       *       *       *       *       *       *       *       *       *
Hi Grandpa,

Mama Inga is letting me use the computer tonight while she tries to find every one of the 534 pellets that I hid around the house while she was at work today. It’s lots of fun seeing her down on her hands and knees looking underneath the tables and couches with a torch and mumbling lots of foreign words that I don’t understand yet because I’m too little.

Everything is good here except for one thing that I don’t really understand. I was christened ‘Madonna’ and that’s what everyone at the rabbit shelter used to call me, so why is Mama Inga now calling me ‘Roman’ all the time?

Is her memory shot?
Does she do weird things like this very often?

Your fluffy little granddaughter,


*       *       *       *       *       *       *       *       *       *       *       *       *

My dear little Buggalugs,

Nomenclature is a very complicated adult business.  
Your Mama Inga had to find a name for you that she liked, but which was also acceptable to the Bunny Refuge people who were looking after you before.  You see, some humans give their offspring really stupid names like;

Pilot Inspektor                (Actor Jason Lee)
Sage Moonblood             (Sylvester Stallone)
Diva Thin Muffin           (Frank Zappa)  
Audio Science                  (Actress Shannyn Sassamon)
Globet and Musmus    (unattributed)

Mostly names are no big deal and they don’t unduly influence or predict the child’s subsequent behaviour.

Johnny Cash’s boy named ‘Sue’ got up and slugged his Dad right in the moosh as soon as he was able, which was extremely unladylike behaviour.

‘Chastity’ didn’t work out too well for Cher’s little one either and the kid’s still unchastely frolicking around decades later trying to discover whether she’s Arthur or Martha or something in between.   If only Cher Could Turn back Time.

So you see, Mama Inga was faced with a difficult decision.
She couldn’t name you ‘Fridge Magnet‘ or ‘Mophead’ or  “Squeegee” or ‘Bathtub Backscratcher’ or ‘Door Stopper’ because this might have rung some alarm bells with the Refuge management.

Mama Inga didn’t like your original name because people might have confused you with a couple of other famous ‘Madonnas’ in history, although you’re not really very much like the first Madonna because you are deficient in the ‘child’ department to the tune of one.

Inga was also a little bit frightened that you might be influenced by sharing a name with the second one, and the last thing Mama Inga needs right now is to come home after a long day in the office to find her very own Madonna squatting over a mirror having risque photographs taken for publication as Wanton Wabbit Centrefold of the Month in Playbunny Magazine.

So there you have it my little one.

Trust your Mama Inga. You won’t find a better one.
Or a more loving Grandma.  
Of other family members I am less certain.

Love from Grandpa.

*       *       *       *       *       *       *       *       *       *       *       *       *


About GOF

"Life is like a sewer. What you get out of it, depends upon what you put into it." (Tom Lehrer)

32 responses »

  1. Awwwww! Such wisdom being passed from generation to generation!

    Diva Thin Muffin? Really?

    I like Roman much better than Madonna, too. You’ll get used to it, Roman! And don’t forget to save some pellets for Grandpa!

  2. Mazel Tov, GOF. As one who has been a grandma to a dog for several years now, I will say you have many hours of pet sitting to look forward to. I also find myself walking through fancy pet boutiques, saying out loud, “Oh, baby would just LOOOVE this!” Apparently the clerks are used to this, because no one gives me odd looks or rolls their eyes. But it can make you a bit dotty if you aren’t careful.

    Back when Obama was a mere senator from Illinois, he made an interesting speech regarding how his name set him apart from the mainstream and shaped his life. I can’t find the link to the video, but then it’s just a political speech in the end. However, I think a good name will start a child off in the right direction. Madonna’s father however might think otherwise—the pop star was named in honor of the Virgin Mary, and look what happened.

  3. Congrats! I see she favors your side of the family.


  4. Do I see a family resemblance?

    • “Do I see a family resemblance?”

      Perhaps. Ears very close together with not much in-between, or long gray whiskers maybe?

      Oh dear, the innuendo and cruelty up with which I have to put on this blog. 🙂

  5. And just WHO taught Inga those words soon to be passed onto Roman’s virgin ears? Hmmm? 😉

    LOL Sage Moonblood. I’m sure the shelter would be thrilled to know my boyfriend calls Ives (when he is cleaning himself) “Professor Lick Me”

    I don”t know about Lagomorph grand kids, but it is wonderful to see the bond that Roman has brought across cell phone lines. You are a great family.

    • “And just WHO taught Inga those words”…….I think it was a little red-headed kid in Grade 1 at her school…..I’m still hunting him down.

      “You are a great family.”… gives me great happiness that in Inga’s words we can still “take the piss out of each other” even though we live so far apart.

  6. If I didn’t know better I’d think you were taking the piss out of me and my beautiful Bunny. Luckily I know better. 😉

    I need to get another bunny and call it Squeegee. It can be your companion pet at the Terminally Bewildered Rest Home – I’m compiling a portfolio for your enrolment as we speak.

    • “I need to get another bunny and call it Squeegee. It can be your companion pet at the Terminally Bewildered Rest Home”

      The first thing I’d do is strap the necessary equipment to it’s belly with velcro.
      The second thing I’d do would be to change it’s name to “Fridge Magnet”. 🙂

  7. I hear they make good stew.

  8. I wouldn’t have a critter called madonna, either! No telling the trouble they get into. Of course you know rabbits were one of my first chores/ goes at animal husbandry (being feeding, watering and trying to convince them to “stay little” was something a 3yo could do). They never stayed little. They go well with milk gravy and biscuits (quick bread “rolls”).

  9. Great post GOF and so is Inga’s. The tradition continues.

  10. Thank you FD….you are so kind. 🙂


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