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Lady GaGa revisited

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I have written several hundred stories for The Bucket over the years. Some have been vitriolic opinionated rants and many more simply overflowed with effervescing cascades of  frogshit, so it astonishes me that I have only ever received one unwarranted, and as it turns out, poorly conceived critical comment.

Way back when young Lady GaGa was beginning to create ripples on the International pond of popular music I chose in a spirit of encouragement and goodwill to wish her a successful and reality-grounded future.

My motive in doing so was not of a pecuniary nature. To my knowledge she has not as yet opened an “I Love my Cuddly GOF” bank account into which she appreciatively and electronically syphons 1% of her annual earnings, although I have no in-principle opposition to that possibility.

We can also discount any thought that I might have had the old-mans-wishful-thinking-desperate-end-of-life-hots for Miss Double Ga.
GaGa is younger than my daughter and is therefore automatically excluded from my field of feminine appreciation under
Section 724 of Inga’s Code of Acceptable Paternal Behaviour.

Her music also does not send me into enduring spasms of orgasmic delight, and it is unlikely that any of her compositions will ever compete with the genius of Lennon and McCartney, Robbie Williams, Elton John or even Eminem.

No, I simply chose, in a rare moment of Goffly generosity to acknowledge and commend Lady GaGa’s original brand of theatricality and entertainment.
The world needs to celebrate those like her who choose to be different.

My critic, who purported to have an in-depth knowledge of the music industry wrote the following about Lady GaGa in 2009;

“Next year she’ll be struggling to maintain her place in the press by doing porn.”

*        *        *        *        *        *        *        *        *        *

So much for expert opinion.

The Forbes List of the world’s most powerful women in 2011 placed Lady GaGa at #7 on a list where Oprah Winfrey was #3.
She has won Grammy Awards, and topped Billboard’s Pop and Dance Artist list.
Her personal income during the last 12 months is estimated to be in the order of $62 million.

I continue to wish her well as I do anyone who has shown the courage to expand the boundaries of their chosen legal and legitimate profession.

All young people, whether they be Lady GaGa or the kid next door, walk a difficult road attempting to find a niche for themselves in this world, and they are not aided on that journey of discovery by members of older generations who choose to habitually bombard them with envious, malicious, cynical and ill-considered deprecation.

*        *        *        *        *        *        *        *        *        *        *

I hereby declare this Spleen #79 to be well and truly vented.

About GOF

"Life is like a sewer. What you get out of it, depends upon what you put into it." (Tom Lehrer)

59 responses »

  1. Ha! You showed Mr. Expert Music Industry Critic!
    I enjoy Lady Gaga’s creativity. My husband has two of her cds! (color me astonished, he is really quite traditional except for that)
    I love new music, but I enjoy metal more than pop.

    But, I can’t stop laughing about “effervescing cascades of frogshit.”

    • I second the laughs about “effervescing cascades of frogshit.” Pure brilliance.

      GaGa is well on her way to out Madonnaing Madonna, and she has better pitch quality, range and a better message to boot.

      Maybe you could capitalize on her boom by becoming GofGof.

    • Thank you Lauri, but let’s not get too carried away with GOFGOF and the meat trousers.
      Would you believe that I woke up with the frogshit phrase in my head at 3 o’clock this morning! Whatever happened to my days of dreaming about middle-aged ex-supermodels. 😦

      • *smothered laugh* Well, um…maybe you can work love for a middle-aged ex-supermodel into the foaming, flowing, effervescing cascades of frog shit lyrics…..but I doubt it.


  2. Yet again, proven right!

    • I don’t mind being proven wrong MT.
      Lord knows there is plenty of opportunity for that on this blog, but in the unlikely event that I would see any necessity to criticise another writers personal view of the world at least I would hope to do it in a respectful and considerate manner.

  3. May I third my appreciation of “effervescing cascades of frogshit.” Pure brilliance that…

    Afraid I can’t comment either way on LGG’s talent or lack thereof. Ashamed I am to admit that I just can’t keep up with the musical tastes of you young people, GOF. On the plus side it does give me another reason to drink whisky while I contemplate another of the social failings brought on by my dotage. But I can comfort myself by trying to imagine “effervescing cascades of frogshit.”. You might mention to LGG that there may just be a song in that…

    • By god, Snowy, I believe you may have a hit on your hands! Send the lyrics for “Effervescing cascades of frogshit” to the Ga right away!

      • Way beyond my humble talents, Lauri, but I’m thinking someone who had the imagination to originate such a profound phrase might just be able to turn his many talents to songwriting. I always wanted to say I know someone famous, so I hope he seizes the moment….

      • GaGa’s not going to get a penny from this project Lauri. It’s all ours.. GOF, Lauri and Snowy. You get dressed up and do the vocals, I’ll provide some inane lyrics and Snowy can be our agent and manager.

    • Thank you Snowy. Lady GaGa does put on quite a spectacular performance….I’ve even copied some of her costumes to wear as a crowd-puller to sell more plants at the market. I would be happy to send you a couple so you can do the same….your daylily sales will go through the roof.

      There’s another benefit too. All future psychological counselling is paid for by the State. So I found out.

      Oh, and I’d like both you and Lauri to be backup singers for our hit song
      “Effervescing cascades of frogshit”

      • Please send GaGa costume, GOF. Maybe I could get a gig with Don Costa. Failing that, a stint of free board and lodging while getting treatment sounds nice.

        • We’ll sing duets together in the Sanitorium Snowy.

          • You guys have been dipping into the 27,000 gallons. But the videos of you selling your plants in Gaga ripoff costumes would probably go viral and rocket you to instant celebrity, right before they hauled you off to the Sanitorium.
            But, oh, the laughs!!!

  4. chose in a spirit of encouragement and goodwill to wish her a successful and reality-grounded future

    So you are to blame? Be careful what you wish for in future.

    • I think she’s doing OK FD…..from the occasional interviews I hear her do with the press I get the impression that her head still seems to be screwed on securely.

  5. “Experts” should know that anyone that’s just a little bit different enough to attract attention and has a modicum of talent won’t end up on the scrap heap that quickly.

    Did Snowy call you young? He’s bucking for more than the regular 10% an agent/manager would get, isn’t he?

    • We think the same way on this issue GOM, and with 62 million bucks a year she’ll eventually end up on a fairly luxurious scrap heap.

      Let’s allow Snowy to continue speaking the truth. I like his variety of truth and I might even be tempted to increase his liquor allowance.

      • I like your style, GOF, particularly your appreciation of the true values in this life. Is it bromeliad hooch that you have in mind?

        Between you and me, I think that GOM is on the good stuff. I think that’s why he does tend to make wild statements on occasion, especially about my good intentions regarding our future business relationship. I hope you took them with a grain of salt.

        • GOM is actually a real-life super-sleuth seconded to Interpol Snowy.
          We’ve got to respect everything he suggests and just hope that he doesn’t get wind that we were involved in that nasty business at a certain Kentucky whiskey distillery earlier this year.

          At least we’ve still got 27,000 gallons of the stuff stashed away for our future medicinal needs.

          • Thanks for the tip, GOF. I’m sure we can keep “our little secret” away from prying eyes. Come to think of it, I am feeling rather poorly lately. Maybe I should have another nip, er, dose of that medicine you mention…

    • Well, thanks for nothing, GOM. All that sucking up and appealing to his vanity now counts for nought. I’d appreciate it if you kept this comment confidential before you do any further damage to my budding entrepreneurial career. Thanking you in anticipation.

  6. I wanted to hate her, I really, really did. But I find myself humming her songs all the time much to my teenage daughter’s horror.

    • Isn’t it a really satisfying feeling when we cause annoyance to our grown-up children by liking their style of music. It’s a real joy and cause for celebration.

      Thank you for visiting. Your company is appreciated.

    • She really does have a lot of talent, in the showmanship and the music areas, angry! I like her songs, too.
      And she has her head screwed on a whole lot better than Madonna ever did!

  7. I just discovered this in the Old Testament, GOF. As one whose wisdom is legendary, please tell me this doesn’t mean what I think it means?

    “Any man or woman who makes use of spirits,…… is to be put to death: they are to be stoned with stones: their blood will be on them.”

    • Allow me to weigh in. I do believe it tranlates “Any man or woman (at least they were kind enough to include us!) who makes use of spirits,…is to flip the finger to death: they are to be rocking with the Stones: Bloody Marys will be on them the next morning.”

      Quite an uplifting message! 🙂

      • That sounds much better, Lauri. I was getting worried there for a while. Just as well I’ve got you guys to translate for me. That bible stuff can sure scare an old man at times. Gave me quite a turn it did. So much so, that I think I’d better go consult my spirits…

    • I’m liking that the scriptures specified that all those imbibing sinners should be stoned with STONES. It is unthinkable that they should be stoned by any other means.

      What the hell were you doing with your nose in the Old Testament Snowy?
      I know there’s only two sane people left in the world….you and me….but lately I’ve been worried about YOU. 🙂

      • Yes, just as well they made that stipulation regarding stoning, GOF, otherwise modern readers might put a very different interpretation on “stoned”, as you say.

        I was looking for the naughty bits that I’m told abound in the Old Testament, GOF. I lost interest after I came upon that reference to stoning men and women who make use of spirits. I wonder what they did for kicks in those days. No, spirits, no getting stoned. Maybe that’s why they were so preoccupied with sex, d’you think?

        Oh, I’ve no doubt that you’re the only remaining sane person in the world, GOF. I gave up on me years ago….

        • “Oh, I’ve no doubt that you’re the only remaining sane person in the world, GOF. I gave up on me years ago”

          Now I’m filled with nagging self-doubt. That doubt is supported by a lifetime of evidence.

          I N G AAAAAAAAAAA!……where are you……come back……we’re no longer absolutely certain of the level of wisdom and genius around this place. We need youthful guidance.

  8. You’re all utterly crackers. 😯

    In the loveliest possible way of course.

    *snort GofGof snort*

    • GOF, I think your daughter is getting out of hand…..again….

    • Please go back to Ballarat Glob and allow the remainder of us who are filled with unparalleled wisdom and astute philosophical genius to reset the ship of human destiny onto a safe and sustainable course.

      Oh, and please send another bottle or three of JW. Competent navigators need to be adequately lubricated. 🙂

  9. I’m impressed that Britany Spears passes Section 724 of ICAPB.

    I’m sure you could teach her a thing or two except in the area of Party attire and protecting her famous virginity.


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