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Mrs GOF’s dream start

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Half-time score;

GOF                  1
Mrs GOF       11,335

(It may just end up being the full-time score if she ever gets to read this story.)

Australia's moral lighthouse-keeper

Moral crusaders are constantly hollering from their pulpits of pontification that each of us lesser mortals living in intimate partnerships should be pulling our socks up because the failure/divorce rate is approaching fifty percent.

I think it’s an absolute miracle that any union survives for more than a few years because the vast range of variation and difference within human psyches and expectations makes the possibility of finding long-term compatibility and happiness with another person fairly remote.

Perhaps I am not alone in suspecting that some marriages only achieve longevity because one dominant partner has stifled the individuality, ambition and dreams of the other.
Maybe other relationships still exist only because each partner in equal proportion has allowed the two-storey house of hope to decay through lack of maintenance into a ramshackle hovel where neither occupant can even be bothered looking for a door to get out.

I’m sorry, I just went all philosophical and cynical there for a moment.
I’ll try and make sure it doesn’t happen again.
This story was to be about something different.

It was supposed to be about dreams.

*       *       *       *       *       *       *       *       *

I am perfectly content with my belief that dreams are nothing more than the brain doing a little essential housework by filing-away, throwing-out, or trying to make sense of the vast quantities of crap we shove into it each day via our various orifices and portals.

I don’t expect them to have meaning or predictive potential.
Mostly I can’t even be bothered trying to remember them.
Certainly I don’t think anyone else really needs to know about the content of my dreams.  If one day I have a real humdinger then you will be the first to find out.

Mrs GOF is different.

Every morning for the past 32 years Mrs GOF has presented me with the latest episode of her Adventures in Slumberland.
In great detail.

Occasionally she attempts to convince me that she had had dreams which fortold the future, but always AFTER she had been overtaken by the event itself….never before.

Mostly I solemnly endure this quirk of her character whilst nodding profusely and inserting a tsk tsk” here and awow” there into the occasional pauses which inevitably must occur in order to draw breath during any half-hour monologue.

Ninety percent of what gets written in The Bucket was originally composed in my head during the Dream Stories morning interlude.

I am only able to get away with  provide this porthole into domesticity today without fear of physical or psychological retribution because Mrs GOF has gone swanning around Papua New Guinea for a month.  Out of range of the internet.

I’m safe.  It’s not like any other member of my family, or friends of Mrs GOF might read this blog and urgently send a message for her to procure an armful of fighting spears and the machete that chopped poor old Roger the Rooster’s head off so that she can deal with my disrespectful impertinence when she gets back.

It really is miraculous that some partnerships can endure for so long.
It is a miracle that Mrs GOF has tolerated my intolerance of her dawn dream summary for so long.

She has told me 11,335 dream stories during the past 32 years.

And I only ever had ONE dream that I thought was worthy of relating to her.

*       *       *       *       *       *       *       *       *       *       *

So there you have it.   What more could you possibly need to know.

I do apologise for this woeful piece of storytelling.

It just sort of fizzled out with barely a whimper.

I think I know why.

It’s now been 16 days since I heard a dream story.

My world as I knew it is temporarily incomplete.


About GOF

"Life is like a sewer. What you get out of it, depends upon what you put into it." (Tom Lehrer)

40 responses »

  1. I love this!
    Ken and I have been married 31 years. There were a few spots where I didn’t think we were going to continue, but we hung on, sometimes by the skin of our teeth, and have reached the point where we are both very glad that we DID manage to make it through the rough spots.

    I have been having extremely jumbled and unsettling dreams lately. I’m afraid I can’t tell you anything worth relating, but here is hoping that Mrs. GOF has been recording her dreams so that she can tell you each and every one when she returns! 🙂

    • Thanks Lauri.
      Relationships are really tough to maintain and I suspect most couples have times when they wonder whether it is all worthwhile. Just like the two of you, we are also very happy that we weathered the difficult years and survived. We might be on shaky ground again if she ever gets to read this blog though.

      No,no,no……I don’t need to catch up on the backlog of dreams……I anticipated that problem and am organising to go and annoy Inga as soon as Mrs GOF returns.
      The secret of a happy family is spreading the annoying behaviours over the largest area possible. 🙂

  2. I would tell you of some obscure dream I recently had… but I fear that I would fall short of Mrs GOF’s oratory excellence. Really though, she may well be one of those lucky (or unlucky) few who are able to tell the future. Perhaps the ‘wows’ are still a good idea. ;0)

    Seriously, I’m very sorry that you’re missing your better half right now. I hope the rest of the month slips by quickly. Big hugs for you. :0)

    • Thanks for your concern Tina.
      I am sure your dreams are colourful and informative, and I don’t wish to appear unappreciative, but I think it might be best if you keep them between the two of you up there.

      I need to prepare myself for an onslaught in 2 weeks time. 🙂

  3. Someone asked us once if we had a dream marriage. I foolishly answered that yes, it was a real nightmare. I still have the scars.

  4. Question to Rachel Ward: “You’ve been married to Bryan Brown for almost 28 years; you have three beautiful children. What’s the secret to a loving, long-term relationship?”

    Rachel Ward: One of you needs to be on anti-depressants.

    • Thanks for that insight Snowy.
      It is also worth listening to golf pro turned psychologist Pamela Stephenson discussing her marriage to Billy Connolly. Now that must be the challenge of a lifetime for any woman.

  5. Surviving a marriage is all about how much we are willing to compromise…… recently I heard the expression “do you want to be right, or do you want to be married?” and I think that sums things up nicely.

    That’s funny about Mrs GOF retelling the dreams – you might have one great big long novel to listen to when she comes home…….

    • I totally agree with your philosophy about marriage Emjay….no compromise=no marriage.

      There are plans afoot for me to avoid listening to the complete “novel” at the end of the month.
      But we all know what happens to the best laid plans………

  6. I’ve found sleeping 3-5 hours a night (broken into about 4 segments) kept me from dreaming at all — I don’t think I ever got into the state necessary for it. I’d not realized this til the past few nights when I got 7 hours (broken but still “more”).

    You’re an inventive fellow. If you can come up with a plan that will in no way lead back to you that also keeps Mrs. GOF awake for about the rest of her life, she’ll cease to dream. Of course, she’ll probably have a mental break of some kind but she won’t be dreaming…It’ll be new and different. Practically like another woman.

    • I admire your thinking outside the box MT. This admiration I have will probably not be reflected by my adopting your wonderful suggestion. If I deviously keep Mrs GOF awake all night, I know precisely how she is going to spend her new “awake time”., and it ain’t gonna involve silence.
      It will involve detailed speculation about what her dreams might be containing if only she was asleep, and “it’s all your bloody fault GOF, I know you had a hand in my sleeplessness.”

  7. And I only ever had ONE dream that I thought was worthy of relating to her.

    … yeah, and 11,334 about Elle that would have gotten you killed. Or at least ensured that the marriage didn’t last 32 years …

    • I’m extremely disappointed in you GOM in one way;…….revealing our Secret Men’s Business here for all the world of women to see. I thought I’d got away with it. 🙂

      Now you’ve got me thinking…..why can’t we pre-program the sort of dream we’d like to have before we nod off every night?

      • I saw a news report of a scientist-guy who was claiming that could be done. Of course, it involved watching a lot of porn and then (SURPRISE!) having “sex dreams.”

        Really, though, I agree with your idea that it’s just a lot of ‘dusting and cleaning’ of the brain and sorting through crap. I rarely remember dreams. If I do, they are always ones I wish I didn’t.

        • Interesting news report…..I’m sure he’d have no difficulty finding some young volunteers to try that one out.

          It disturbs me (in both ways) when I start having dreams involving violence, because I abhor it in real life…..I have trained myself to wake up as soon as one starts happening. The coolest dreams ever are when I become a super athlete leaping around the playing field defying gravity. Here I am at 3 am writing about dreams…..there’s something basically wrong about that…… I’d better leave and drive down to the coast for a market….the original aim of my early morning. Thanks for the discussion GOM.

          • I am sure that “Programable Dreams” will be the next iPhone app.

            I have dreams all the time where I have so many animals that I can’t keep them all fed and cleaned and I find cages with dead baby rats, or starving puppies or kittens. Obviously anxiety dreams about whether I can adequately care for all my critters and plants.
            So far I haven’t starved any that I know of.

            And Viggo Mortensen does NOT make anywhere near enough appearances in my non-anxiety dreams.

  8. When I was younger a friend and I both experimented in Lucid Dreaming. I tried for days, weeks and months to control them and eventually (probably by fluke) managed to get the flying dream down to a tee – one night…..

    Being young, my interests changed and my friend and I had eventually both found alcoholic drinks and thus, the dream control became hangover management instead.

    Since reading this post I did a quick google and found:

    Couldn’t believe it – I thought it was all hookey.

    Keep smiling, the lovely Mrs GOF will be home soon. In the meantime you have Elle to keep you company I’m sure.

    • Thanks for that interesting link Pete. I’m sure there must be ways to influence the content of dreams……just a matter of applying ones self to the task. I like the idea of time travel that the article talks about.

      Now what else were we talking about? Oh yes, Elle………. 🙂

  9. Hang on there – lets go back a bit!! ” Viggo Mortensen” – Ahhhhh — I hope that gets my full slumber time attention too!!! – OOOH – He’s something else!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Cheer up GOF!!! She’ll be back soon. – Hmmmm – must ask about all those dreams over coffee!! :-))

    • Oh dear, please settle down Roz……..what a shambles it’s going to be in here…..two good looking girls vying for the dreamtime attention of one Viggo Mortensen…….the scruffy little sod.

      I really don’t understand all the fuss when this is blog-central right here for all the really hot hunks in this world; Snowy, GOF, GOM, Peter McC, and Pete Graham.

      Thanks for your uplifting cheer Roz…….now I’ll just have another little drink if that’s alright.

  10. Oh god, did someone say Viggo Mortensen?! *swoooooooon*

    • Lauri started all this! There’s waaay too much swooning going on in my blog about this Viggo Mortensen person.
      If his name is mentioned again I’m going to post all of my 7584 pictures of Elle MacPherson tomorrow to purge The Bucket..

      • Oh please!! I think I can safely say for us girls we’ll TRY to exercise some some restraint on – who was he again?? if you promise not to post 7584 pictures of Elle!!

        • Hmmm….if we use only his initials will you only post 2 pics of Elle?

          • I promise not to inflict Elle on you Lauri……forget the initials…perhaps you could rearrange that old Star Wars (?) theme which your dogs used as accompaniment a couple of years ago…

            Viggo……Viggo……Viggo……….MORTENSEN!!!! 🙂

        • That sounds like a reasonable agreement Roz……I’ll just hang onto my 7584 pictures to use in emergencies…….I’ll consider the file to be like my very own nuclear deterrent.

  11. I HATE people relating their dreams to me, I HATE people relating every detail of a movie to me, especially if it is something I have chosen NOT to watch as I think it is rubbish to start with, and I HATE people relating all aspects of the book they read, in minute detail.

    Mr FD does all. It has been a long marriage in many ways.

  12. Strewth. Starting with a photo of Fred Nile is going to give me nightmares.

    Compromise is an essential ingredient but I reckon there are limits. If Liz started following chaps like Fred I’d be hitting the exits. ( Luckily Liz is just as dismissive of religious fervor although she has been known to head off the Bible bashing door knockers to save them a conversation with me. ) Now that’s my definition of a Saint.

    • I thought old Fred’s moosh to start the story might grab attention although it does tend to lower the quality of this blog to new levels of mediocrity.

      Every man needs someone like Saint Liz to save him from the pitfalls of life.


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