Welcome to the first-ever issue of The Bucket Sporting Supplement.
These F U L L C O L O U R commemorative and collectable publications will document all of the world’s major sporting events as they unfold during 2011.
First on the calendar is the Australian Open Tennis Championships now under way in Melbourne.
Our Chief Sports Reporter and tennis tragic since 1948, Edward “Pommie” Grannit-Deuce, has been embedded courtside for the last twelve days filing hourly reports and photographs, interviewing players and spectators, and digging deep into his photographic memory to provide all the essential statistics as well as keeping us informed of any unfolding behind-the scenes drama in the locker-rooms.
My job as editor of The Bucket is one that I take very seriously, so
I have distilled this vast treasure trove of information into it’s essential elements and extirpated all of the following impurities;
1. All references to the obscene financial rewards handed out to these young people who are, after all, just playing a game.
2. The histrionics and abominable sportsmanship including racquet-hurling or axe-chopping and mouthed obscenities.
3. Blatant attention-seeking/opponent-distracting behaviour such as extravagant grunting, yelling, squeaking, screaming and howling before, during and after striking every ball.
4. Banal interviews. Tennis players and spectators are generally not renowned for being gifted orators or gushing fountains of wisdom.
My job is now done.
Please enjoy the following highlights package which includes every piece of action that was worth watching.
After that I will proudly announce the winners.
And the winners (ignore what Rupert Murdoch might tell you later this weekend) of the 2011 Australian Open Tennis Championship are;
Andrea Petkovic, the extremely personable, intelligent, multi-lingual, pistol-packing and dancing German athlete who breathed some much needed fresh air into this stuffy event.
Zoran Petkovic, Andrea’s Dad and coach, who co-starred from the sidelines with his daughter in a memorable and whimsical post-match interview.
The Bucket accordingly commends both of them for bringing back some of the “game” into professional tennis.
Edit 6/11; MORE ANDREA PETKOVIC PICTURES HERE