1. Fill the pot with an abundance of water;
All values in millimetres. Multiply by 4 to convert to points.
Trivia; Australia’s most productive rain gauge is located alongside the radio and TV transmitters on top of Mt. Bellenden Ker, less than 15 kilometers from GOF’s Place.
It’s rainfall total for 2010 was 12,438mm, just short of the all-time record of 12,461 (41 feet) set in 1990.
The wettest day was the 4th January 1979 when 1140 mm (45 inches) fell.
2. Then add a leg of inspiration;
4. Twice each month we drive to the big smoke in the early morning with our little truck load of plants to sell at the market.
Each time, we come across the same group of 10 amateur cyclists riding in a pack, enjoying each other’s company, and the exercise.
Last time we counted eleven.
Leading the bunch was a man with wooden crutches strapped
to his back, happily pedalling along with his one and only leg.
Please let me always remember him before I am tempted to open my gob to complain about some inconsequential little twinge I feel in one of my joints.
3. And two sachets of mild spice
It is with some dismay, but little regret, that I announce the dismissal of The Bucket’s Religion Reporter who exhibited flawed mental equilibrium and a severe deficiency of moral fibre.
Quite frankly, he lost his marbles.
Over coffee, he confessed to me that he had once, during the 1990’s, wished he was an ant.
” an ant migrating northwards up model Toneya Bird’s rather sleek and attractive bare thigh”.
And furthermore, as a last-ditch attempt to get himself out of the incriminating hole of insanity that he had just dug for himself;
“Mr GOF, there was once THIS Australian TV commercial for Antz Pantz which featured a spiny anteater, then ANOTHER that I didn’t see because it was banned by the censors at the time.
I just needed to put myself in the position of an ant, to be satisfied that there was no animal cruelty involved.”
I have absolutely no idea what he was waffling on about.
There’s no place for that sort of deviant behaviour in The Bucket.
4. Now, add liberal amounts of Wisdom for Men.
This is purely a hypothetical scenario.
If you attend a community market solo during the time when your wife is spending a long-weekend crocheting and drinking orange juice (right!) at her girlfriend’s house over New Years, it is unwise to make an attempt at humour by announcing to even a single member of your close-knit stallholder fraternity;
“She went to the pub on New Years eve, got totally crissed as a
picket, then was arrested for unruly and immoral behaviour for which I refused to pay bail, so I haven’t seen her since”.
Very little good comes from it.
4. And a little magic.
5. Serve with essential Aussie condiments.