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The Eleventh Commandment

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I am delighted that so many of my friends have transferred here to WordPress following our eviction from Vox.

It is to be hoped that my posts will gradually improve from the following low point, but I needed to find out how to work all this foreign WordPress machinery with a piece of rubbish , just in case it shreds it into a million pieces.

My neighbour, Saint Martin of The Fields of Tea, is not a newcomer when it comes to making submissions for additional Commandments.

One of his previous attempts;

“Thou shalt not buyeth green bananas lest they should not have time to ripen before thou dieth”

was rejected by The Archbishop of Canterbury on the grounds of lack of originality, and that it was too age-specific, only being of relevance to ancient relics like Saint Martin himself, and GOF.

This time, writhing in both spiritual and physical agony on the floor of his workshop, clutching at his one damaged wrist with the other hand, Saint Martin verily announc-ed;

“Thou shalt not use thine hand as a hammer.”

Or words to that effect.

This time he’s going directly to the Pope.

His Eleventh Commandment proposal is now in The Vatican vestry awaiting Ratzinger Ratification.


About GOF

"Life is like a sewer. What you get out of it, depends upon what you put into it." (Tom Lehrer)

24 responses »

  1. Haaa! No saintly language follows after the hammer move. Not in my experience.

    Saint of the Fields has a point, although a commandment for the bananas to not ripen so fast after placed in a paper bag (to the point where the brown reminds one of a worm infestation) would also be useful.

  2. Thanks Emmi……nice to have you back commenting again… wouldn’t believe how long it just took me to work out how to “approve” your comment…….but then again you probably do have a good idea of my new website learning inadequacies. My brain is frazzled…I’ve just spent 3 hours customizing this place…..I’m off to have a snooze. 🙂

  3. I would like to know why WordPress is recommending a ‘possibly related post’ titled Safe Baby Handling Tips.

    Also I have no idea what is going on, and will have a snooze too.

    • Saint Martin’s book “The confirmed bachelors guide to tolerating small children” is the leading publication within that genre.

      Hope you stay with WP… has several features not available on Vox….I’m beginning to like it.

  4. Oh GOF you are such a gem! This is superb.

  5. What’s that “tagged neighbours” bit GOF? Is it a sneaky way for us all to keep in touch?

    • I’ve got no idea what I am doing around here Peter. I’d better find out what the “uncategorized” classification means too.

    • Hiya Peter! If you get a WP, there’s a thing in your dashboard (several services have a place called a dashboard…blogger, tumblr, WP and others) where you can add other WP users to Blog Surfer (it’s on the left hand side of said dashboard.

      After you’ve added them, you click on Blog Surfer and can see them all in one tidy spot (the middle of your dashboard). You can also click on “my comments” of dashboard and keep up with any responses from ANY of those blogs. Nifty-neato-keen.

      Like any new country, you’ve gotta get a grip on the colloquialisms and BS 🙂 It took me about a month and I’m sure there’s loads that I know nothing about. The more you tinker (clicky-clicky!), the more you see. It’s really got a lot to offer or you can always ignore extraneous BS, too.

  6. GOF – love the hand-hammer thing. My brother has broken his hands many times punching things like refrigerators, the ground…

    I got a notification from Vox that you’d sent me a msg but I’ve been unsuccessful at signing into Vox to pick it up FOR DAYS. I thought maybe the servers were too busy with people freaking out/ transferring but many times over many days, I’ve given up.

    So, I don’t know what you said but thanks for contacting me. Same thing with Kzinti and I’ve no idea what he said or where he went. I’ve got you at WP from previously (although I’d been inactive here for some months).

    Anyhoozles, happy to see you! -Lily

    • I’ve forgotten what the message was about MT….at my age anything beyond 24 hours overloads my memory retention. It was probably just appreciating your comment at Vox and being happy that you are still a part of my cyber neighborhood.

  7. I agree with FD, you ARE a gem, GOF!

    I haven’t figured out much of anything around here, yet, but with sufficient ignoring of real life duties I should eventually stumble my way around!

    So glad to find your Bilgebucket!

    • Thanks Lauri,

      I know exactly what you mean about ignoring real life during the past few days…..I’ve even been waking up at night wondering how everything works around here. 🙂 It has got to the stage where I’m reasonably happy with everything now.

  8. “Thou shalt not buyeth green bananas lest they should not have time to ripen before thou dieth”

    Damn, that was my suggestion for an 11th commandant. Not original enough, eh? How about, “Thou shalt not buy a bottle of the vine and finish it off in one day by thineself, lest ye wake with the Devil in your head?”

    Cute blog, btw. I like the green shadowbox stripes. They remind me of a sports jacket my father used to wear.

    • “Thou shalt not buy a bottle of the vine and finish it off in one day by thineself, lest ye wake with the Devil in your head?”

      If I did that I’d be worried that I wouldn’t wake up ever again HG……I’ll rely on your continuing research and hope you get your Commandment recognized. 🙂

      Yep I’m happy with the way the blog looks after many hours of work, and I have been advised by others not to try and change to another because all my good works might go up in smoke.

  9. “Nor thine fingernail as a screwdriver”

    And if the frog post doesn’t kill this site, I guess it’s okay.

    • “Nor thine fingernail as a screwdriver”

      But if your first attempt is unsuccessful at least you have nine more left up your sleeve. 🙂

      Don’t go blaming my innocent frog. Y’all behave properly in our new house OK?

  10. There is no finer post hole digger on the planet than Mrs GOF.

    I adore Mrs GOF, she must have been a Flamingo Dancer in a previous life.

  11. Very entertaining GOF… mind you I am on my second glass of vino …. 🙂

  12. I haven’t had any vino yet, but I am finding the words “Receptacle” and “Bilge” both very amusing!


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