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A Frog’s Lament

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This is a heartbreaking tale of unrequited love.

It comes with apologies for what I just did to a perfectly good Olde English Nursery Rhyme.

Because of the complex structure of each verse, I have taken the liberty of highlighting the most essential passages for the benefit of speed readers, or those with other pressing engagements, or if you are simply feeling a busting urgent need to go to the toilet in a hurry.
In this case, I would suggest that you should not bother reading this preamble at all, and instead go directly to the first verse.

A frog he would a-wooing go,
Heigh-ho says Rowley.
A frog he would a-wooing go,
Whether his mother would let him or no,

With a roley, poley, gammon and spinach.
Heigh-ho says Anthony Rowley.

"No wooing" says Momma, "Ripit still goes to school,"
Heigh-ho says Rowley,
"That sort of behaviour is just gossip fuel"
"Try fishing instead, you randy young fool."

With a roley, poley, gammon and spinach
Heigh-ho says Anthony Rowley.

Froggie hops off to buy tackle at the store.
Heigh-ho says Rowley.
"You need Fishing Licence, cost dollars thirty four"
"And a Dangerous Goods Permit for hooks, fifty more"

With a roley, poley, gammon and spinach,
Heigh-ho says Anthony Rowley.

Frog, stoney broke, leaped down to the sea.
Heigh-ho says Rowley.
"Can't fish 'ere" was the Inspectors decree,
"It's May, and you're fishing ill…..ee…gally"

With a roley, poley, gammon and spinach
Heigh-ho says Anthony Rowley.

Frog in September, with his surf rod and pail.
Heigh-ho says Rowley.
Inspector puts undersized fish on the scale,
Second offence sends Froggie to jail.

With a roley, poley, gammon and spinach.
Heigh-ho says Anthony Rowley.

Ripit, now eighteen, visits Frog in the clink,
Heigh-ho says Rowley.
Pretty as a picture, all dressed up in pink.
Says; "It's over, Frog, you're old, fat, and stink"

With a roley, poley, gammon and spinach.
Heigh-ho says Anthony Rowley.

Froggie from jail was eventually released.
Heigh-ho says Rowley.
Thinks "I'll impress Ripit with a huge gourmet feast".
Then got hit by ten cars,….. terminally deceased.

With a roley, poley, gammon and spinach.
Heigh-ho says Anthony Rowley.

Remember when you see a squashed frog on the road,
Heigh-ho says Rowley.
That he might have died distracted, by the cross-cultural load,
Of being madly in love with little Ripit the toad.

With a roley, poley, gammon and spinach.
Heigh-ho says GOF, I'm done now.
 

Let me go find some other classical literature to deface.

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About GOF

"Life is like a sewer. What you get out of it, depends upon what you put into it." (Tom Lehrer)

5 responses »

  1. So is that frog waiting for a princess to kiss him? Thank heavens I am a Goddess!

    Reply
    • He’s in a hurry…she’ll need to be quick on her feet.
      Now let me see if this comment/reply system works….I have a feeling of WordPress inadequacy at the moment.

      Reply
      • I think we will all get the hang of the place eventually. There is a quote by Meg Ryan in the movie You’ve Got Mail where she says “change is something that happens to you when something you don’t want to happen, happens to you.” How I think we are all feeling today.

        I wonder how long this free service will last too…..

        Reply
      • I’m still coming to terms with Meg Ryan’s restaurant outburst in When Harry Met Sally, but in the present circumstances your quotation is far more appropriate. šŸ™‚

        I wouldn’t mind paying a nominal annual fee to ensure longevity of a good blogging site.

        Reply
  2. I was just looking at what the premium package gets you – more confused at this stage!

    Reply

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