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Thoughts about someone special

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Yesterday was a significant milestone for me.

It was Mr and Mrs GOF's 30th wedding anniversary.

Please hold back the applause because my Child Bride might not be as enthusiastic as I am about the passage of so many years.

Our celebration (lunch at Lake Barrine ) was just as understated as our wedding in 1980 out the back of a cheap motel in Townsville involving the minimum quorum permitted by law…..five.
This, at around the time when the world was watching the fairy-tale marriage of Prince Charles to The Lady Diana Spencer on television.

I am proud of our achievements together, but it is not a time when the truth as I see it should be compromised in order to write an embellished love story.

I do not believe couples who announce to the world that they have lived thirty years or more in "wedded bliss".
Thirty years of negotiation, compromise, mutual caring, consideration and respect for each other, with occasional blissful moments I will however believe, because I have walked that walk.

Successful partnerships require the surrender or modification of certain behaviors, personal independence and many of life's opportunities.

With this in mind I must now pay tribute to Mrs GOF, and probably the majority of Australian women of my generation who sacrificed more than their fair share of educational and career opportunities, as well as close family connections, just to follow their man and his dream.

Mrs GOF gave up more than she should have for our partnership.
This is entirely my own assessment, because she has never openly expressed regret for her 1980 decision.
These days I try my best to make amends for this perceived imbalance, and give her as much relief as I can from the
GOF-anchor she has been dragging around for all these years.

We are the original odd couple. Opposites in many ways.
No-one thirty years ago would have given us a snowflake's chance in hell of having the predominantly happy, caring, rewarding and enduring relationship which it has proven to be.

I am however thankful that Australian society today no longer expects our own daughter to sacrifice as much of her individual potential and independence as her mother did just to be with her chosen partner in life.

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About GOF

"Life is like a sewer. What you get out of it, depends upon what you put into it." (Tom Lehrer)

27 responses »

  1. What you expressed was heartfelt and wonderful. I bet Mrs. GOF would tear up in reading it because it is not a piece of fluff with no meaning. That you appreciate how much she sacrificed is huge. You are so right about how much work a marriage takes. Congratulations on 30 years. That is quite a milestone. I am curious why you chose to have such a small wedding? Thanks for a great post!

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  2. Congrats! Thanks GOM

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  3. Thanks FreedomI am curious why you chose to have such a small wedding? Neither of us have any close family in Australia….except for my Mum who travelled for the wedding, and as we'd just settled in a new area we had no close friends either.It's probably also another indication of my deficient contribution to the partnership. While I avoid large groups of people, I know now that she would have preferred a ceremony with more substance.

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  4. Ah…..you could renew your vows and have a ceremony with more substance. Just what you want to do, I am sure πŸ™‚ She loved you enough to marry you without a large wedding so I think she is probably happy and very appreciative that you now realize things that perhaps you did not 30 years ago!

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  5. Congratulations to you both, GOF.

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  6. Ah…..you could renew your vows and have a ceremony with more substance. Just what you want to do, I am sure πŸ™‚ Please speak very softly Freedom…..we don't want these words travelling too far across the ocean in our direction πŸ™‚

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  7. "Wedded bliss" is so overrated. But "Thirty years of negotiation, compromise, mutual caring, consideration and respect for each other, with occasional blissful moments" are less the rule and more rare than you let on. Congratulations and many more years of happiness to you both!

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  8. Congratulations! 30 years really is an achievement.In 1980 I married my (now ex) husband, in a hotel in Kings Cross (Sydney) πŸ™‚ We did not get the marriage recipe right – I think you and Mrs Gof have worked out the right balance of ingredients.

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  9. LOL….hehehehehehe…..don't worry, GOF….I promise I will not say a word to Mrs. GOF about my suggestion. You are so funny πŸ™‚

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  10. Thank you for your good wishes H.G.

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  11. Congratulations!Thank you Emjay. I get the impression that you and the manservant now have all the appropriate ingredients. It took 2 attempts for me to get it right too. πŸ™‚

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  12. Congratulations GOF and thank you for the words of wisdom. Fiction and film always tells you once you've found the person you want to marry it should be happy ever after. I've only been married nearly 4 years and I'm beginning to realise that this is not the case. We still shout at each other and he still drives me insane sometimes! I hope you and Mrs GOF enjoyed your day.

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  13. Congrats GOF and Mrs GOF. I only hope the Queen and I make it to 25 first (we're coming to our 22nd) and then we shall see what happens. You are right, nothing's ever wedded bliss. That's for the Disney Channel.Some days a diamond, others a stone.But cheers for giving us mere mortals hope!

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  14. Mrs Mac and I had the legal minimum too. Although it was virtually an arranged marriage, Liz's Dad was less than impressed. The RAAF posted me to Western Australia and Liz and I went off to live in sin and left the rest of them to duke it out.We married a year later after generously inviting one and all to attend. Hell we even gave them a week's notice.Hear hear for the sentiment towards our daughters. Neither of mine will be settling for what Liz has gone through.Cheers and congrats to you both.

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  15. You sound like the Great Couple. Wish I could have something as precious!

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  16. Congratulations GOF and Mrs GOF. Wow, 30 years! Well done!

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  17. You sound like the Great Couple.Thanks m-t……from my perspective at least I could not have found amore suitable partner.

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  18. Thanks Pete. Had a good laugh about your giving everyone one weeks prior notice of your wedding.Perhaps we should collaborate and write a Manual of Alternative Cheap Marriage Options. πŸ™‚

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  19. Thanks Ninja…and you are well on track…..the first 20 are the most difficult :-)Some days a diamond, others a stone.I'm detecting some John Denver here :-)…one of my heroes in life…..although not one to be emulated with relationships and marriages.

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  20. Thanks Vicola for your good wishes,"We still shout at each other and he still drives me insane sometimes!" That's probably par for that part of the marriage course you are on at present…..hopefully, like us, the shouting will diminish and eventually disappear altogether……not sure what you can do about the "driving you insane" bit.I'm sure I still occasionally do that to Mrs GOF. πŸ™‚

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  21. Lovely tribute to your marriage. Congratulations. I think that most women would agree, sacrifices must be made for any relationship – but when the husband sincerely is grateful for his wife and her love, that makes it more than worth it.

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  22. Thanks Emmi…..and it's nice to have you back again.

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  23. Hello..My sincere congratulations and kudos..Is it not wonderful?..each day becomes a gift..and a thankful thought..for love..Peace Tony

    Reply

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