Is it safe to stick my head up?
GOF has been huddling in the bunker at the bottom of The Bucket for the past week taking shelter from the fusillade of vitriolic verbal missiles which were aimed at my godless little ears by Australia's church leaders during Easter.
Catholic Bishop Fisher, apparently blessed with greater maturity, wisdom and worldly experience than I, in the spirit of charitable Christianity chose the occasion to announce a list of atrocities for which my athiest beliefs are somehow responsible.
It included "Nazism, Stalinism and Pol-Pottery", but as good luck might have it, made no mention of paedophilia against altar boys, sectarian killings in Northern Ireland, and the prohibition of contraception, all of which apparently must be the fault of some other very naughty people.
Cardinal Pell, reinforcing Bishop Fisher's opinion, also went on to hit me with this profound Easter observation;
"we find no community services sponsored by athiests".
Perhaps dear Cardinal many of them are simply too busy
co-operating with people of all faiths during their daily volunteer firefighting, surf lifesaving, school pedestrian crossing duty, Meals on Wheels and State Emergency Service activities.
They probably don't care one iota about those who choose to adorn themselves in splendid regalia and shout out their irrelevant divisive religious messages from the rooftops to an increasingly disinterested, and disenchanted audience.
Bishop Jenson went on even further to accuse my quiet unobtrusive acceptance of the ultimate power of nature and evolution as being an "assault on God".
Bishop, I am sure that despite having to function within the mental straitjacket imposed by your church, you are a good man, but please also have the good grace to accept those of us in the world who have chosen different beliefs, and cease using us for pontifical target practice.
Me assaulting God?
My dear Bishop, please let me tell you a story.
It is perhaps similar to one you might relate in one of your sermons, only mine is shorter and it does not conclude in the realms of theosophical fantasy.
Our Organic Chemistry lecturer at college after a few months of unsuccessfully trying to teach us the difference between alkanes, alkenes and alkynes, one day became terminally disgusted with our disinterest and apparent (and possibly real) lack of intelligence.
He threw his arms up into the air in a gesture of surrender, and with reference to our lack of brains, declared in his broad Scottish accent;
"How can I work with something that isn't there"
Similarly Bishop, I am unable to assault something that for me, based on the lack of evidence, isn't there, and does not exist.
Gentlemen, how about a little more tolerance and acceptance of the beliefs of others next Easter.
The world desperately needs it, and I am sure Jesus would approve.