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Something about citizenship

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GOF has just been on a little taxpayer funded jaunt which requires some boring Parliamentary language to fully explain.

Australian Federal Parliamentary legislation passed in the House of Assembly on the 15th February 2010 effectively amended the Citizenship Act 1905, which will now require all citizens to periodically (at least once in each decade) renew their citizenship by attending public ceremonies to swear their allegiance to Australia.

Section 27 (Part B, Clause 15) of the Australian Patriotism Act 2010 states;

"Candidates for citizenship renewal shall, with effect from March 1 in the year of our Lord two thousand and ten, be required to assemble at an officially designated and Gazetted Public Place, hereinafter throughout this amendment referred to as A Public Place, for the purpose of swearing the Oath of Allegiance to Australia and the Monarch of the British Commonwealth, but only after the candidate has divested him, it, or herself of all distracting accoutrements."

Then, as an addendum to the revised Act;

"Pursuant to the powers vested in me under Section 17 of the Oaths and Allegiances Act 1973, I hereby declare the forecourt of the Sydney Opera House to be a Public Place for the aforementioned purposes of the Patriotism Act."

I was fortunate enough to be selected by electronic ballot, and had my airfares paid by the Government to attend this inaugural ceremony in Sydney.
You might just be able to see me in the picture. (bottom, below.)

The event concluded with our mediocre choral attempt to hum the National Anthem.  
The words, which up until now had been either too multisyallabic or nauseatingly insipid for most Australians to be bothered learning them, have since been amended by Prime Ministerial Decree and in future they will appear on large karaoke screens at each venue.

"Australians get your gear off,
 For we are nude and free….etc"
 

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P.S.  This has been a work of fiction.
          It contains not even the slightest fragment of truth.
          (except for the bit about me being too disinterested to learn the
          words of the National Anthem)
 
          The naked assembly outside the Sydney Opera House was all
          done in the name of Spencer Tunick's "photographic art".

 

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About GOF

"Life is like a sewer. What you get out of it, depends upon what you put into it." (Tom Lehrer)

22 responses »

  1. Thanks for the laugh – much needed this morning.
    Our school sings the damn anthem at weekly assembly and the lyrics in the front of the school diary – after all these years I may be forced to learn the damn words! Girt and all!

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  2. LOL! It may be ficton but it certainly rings true in the States – immigrants required to take tests and such while 90 percent of Americans couldn't point to Utah on a map.

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  3. You might just be able to see me in the picture. (bottom, below.)Which bottom?Don't be giving politicians any stupid ideas, now.

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  4. Humming might just be the antidote to the awful girt song.Better than my current process of singing girt girt girt ad infinitum.

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  5. Thanks for the laughYou're welcome FD. I guess we should all make some effort to learn the words of our National Anthem.

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  6. while 90 percent of Americans couldn't point to Utah on a map.

    World geography was an important part of our school
    curriculum….Australia only has a handful of States to place on the
    map whereas you have err…umm.. *scratches head* a whole lot more.
    Because of my American blog friends I am now getting to form a more accurate mind picture of where one State is relative to the other ……..49?? 🙂

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  7. Better than my current process of singing girt girt girt ad infinitum.Someone has to sing harmonies Pete. Why don't we just adopt "Pub with no Beer" instead…..at least we'd all know the words and feel emotional as we sang them.

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  8. Your an ideas man GOF. No doubt about it.

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  9. Oh mate, you nearly had me there! I was about to go: "What the…", then the pictures stopped me. Ha!

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  10. then the pictures stopped me. Ha! Ninja, I think Australians look much better with their clothes ON. 🙂

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  11. No arguments there! Mind you though, why didn't Jenn Hawkins show up at THAT photo shoot??

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  12. why didn't Jenn Hawkins show up at THAT photo shoot?? She's probably in the middle somewhere surrounded by a mob of lecherous middle aged men…..I've examined the back row quite thoroughly and there's no sign of her there 🙂

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  13. Yes, 50 states, although it's even more confusing because Puerto Rico and several Carribean Islands are "ours" out of Sovereignty as well, they aren't allowed to vote in our elections though….oh well I'm just rambling now, sorry.
    It's true, there are a lot of states to memorize and taking grade school tests on the capital cities of each one was hard. My lovely late Grandma taught me to remember Wyoming's by saying, "why is she shy"? Because Cheyenne is the capital of "Why"oming. 😉

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  14. The 50 capitals of the 50 states was bad enough. In Oklahoma we had to (or were supposed to, I should say) remember all the county seats. There are fricking 77 counties in Oklahoma! No, I still don't remember about 70 of them.

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  15. I reckoned it was fiction when you said you voluntarily left the estate for town!

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  16. I reckoned it was fiction when you said you voluntarily left the estate for town! I didn't think for a minute that I could fool you m-t 🙂

    Reply
  17. LOL – I saw that photo on the Sydney Morning Herald site – I wondered if there was anyone in it that I might know….

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  18. I saw that photo on the Sydney Morning Herald site – I wondered if there was anyone in it that I might know…. There's an awful lot of groping going on….it's hard to work out who is there and what they are all up to 🙂

    Reply
  19. My goodness, how did I miss this. I had to go hunting for it when Grouchy mentioned that you got put in the News and Political section because of posting nude people. Of course, I was just interested in what you said that I missed, not the pictures, of course 🙂

    Reply
  20. I was just interested in what you said that I missed, not the pictures, of course 🙂 Of course Freedom. Just the story. Right :-)I thought all the bureaucratic language at the start might have put you off reading it when I first posted it. I'd best enjoy my 15 minutes of fame in the News and Politics section. 🙂

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  21. LOL….yes….such fame…Of course, since Grouchy mentioned it, it might get yanked. Evidently someone over there is pretty sensitive. Grouchy mentioned that his post was yanked after he mentioned making the culture section!

    Reply

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