Several Companies around the world (including this one) have brought General Electric's 1950's technology of artificially manufacturing diamonds to a place where we can all participate.
They are converting humans into sparkling "girl's best friends".
Cadavers into cash.
One Swiss company even claims that the Pope has given his blessing to their enterprise.
(How confusing it is to note that The Vatican liturgical logic sanctions this sort of tampering with human remains soon after death, yet makes a God Almighty song and dance about artificial interventions prior to conception of life.)
The ashes of our cremated loved one can, for prices starting around $5000, be converted into a diamond.
The size of the gem depends upon how much carbon/graphite can be extracted from the remains.
Now, if Mrs GOF does something terribly irresponsible such as predecease me, I of course, will always need her glittering bling-ness to dangle around my neck to act as a wet blanket to any future nursing home love trysts which might be on offer.
Firstly however, I will need to work on her carbon content and fatten her up on burnt toast (no problem) and incinerated barbecue steak to ensure my rock shall be of monumental proportions.
And if I am first to drop off the perch they might also be able to scrounge around inside me for some embryo kidney or gallstones to seed some oysters and make for her an accessory string of pearls.
My Mum once said I was precious.
Until today no-one on earth had any idea what she was talking about.