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A conversation with my friend…

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GOF;  Welcome back. My heart beats with joy to see that you and all your siblings have returned to the city of Cairns after so many years in exile.
DWF; Thank you GOF. They have been difficult years since our services were embarrassingly rejected, and we were ripped out by the roots and banished.

GOF; You would not believe the idiocy that has overtaken this nation during your absence.
DWF;  Please go ahead. Tell me about it. I know you planned to anyway, regardless of my invitation.

GOF;  I'll overlook your sarcasm. Could you ever have imagined, in the old days of common sense and financial frugality when we used to spend time together, that Australians now would buy 540 million litres of bottled water each year at double the cost per litre that they pay for petrol when you could have supplied that water for nothing?
DWF;  Perhaps they believe that the water in bottles is of superior quality and that it all comes from a magical little glade somewhere in the pristine mountains where a glimmering crystal clear spring issues forth nature's aqueous purity.

GOF;  That is entirely possible, but a whole lot of it comes from Sydney's normal tap water supply yet requires 2000 times the processing energy to find it's way into the bottle and then the gullets of those with excess money burning holes in their pockets.
DWF;  Please excuse me for a moment GOF, I have several customers waiting.

GOF;  (resuming after interruption)  Our Prime Minister Kevin Rudd in his end of 2009 year speech noted;
"it has been a difficult year for many Australians."
DWF;  Hang on GOF, being anchored here in the park, I don't get a whole lot of access to the media.
GOF; Well I can tell you that accompanying vision on at least one television channel showed a mob of intense desperate scuttling unsmiling city pedestrians, and most of them were clutching water bottles as a lifeline against some imminent prospect of perishing from desiccation before they reached the next oasis.
DWF;  Maybe there are are a lot of sand dunes around Sydney?

;  Stop winding me up DWF.
DWF;  Well perhaps they had only bought ONE bottle each year for the convenience of the vessel and then they were refilling it every day from my cousins in New South Wales.
;  Yeah right!  Pigs might fly. And I suppose the $500 they then save themselves from forking out to profiteering multinational corporations each year is donated to World Vision to build water wells in countries where the people genuinely understand the meaning of "it has been a difficult year."
DWF;  Don't be so cynical  Never lose sight of the dream GOF.

P.S. Big YAY! from me to the Cairns City Council.

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About GOF

"Life is like a sewer. What you get out of it, depends upon what you put into it." (Tom Lehrer)

12 responses »

  1. I love the fact you converse with inanimate objects, and more so that they converse back with you. Some may say that could be a sign of madness however I know different!
    Keep the smile GOF, and a long distance yaay from me!

  2. That is one sarcastic water fountain. I love nature's aqueous purity…that has to be the name of some new-age band somewhere.
    At some point I considered where I could find large steel drums in which to preserve water, just in case Earth went to hell in a handbasket. Thanks to Poland Springs and other greenwashing Exxons of the world's most precious substance, we should panic.
    I bet the next generation is looking forward to the gender-neutral hair and other hormonal oddities they can expect from all the BPAs in that plastic.

  3. Where is the "sponsored by Coke" advertising?Good stuff can still happen. Go the Cairns City Council.

  4. Talking to water fountains, eh. And worse, they're answering you! Hurry home Mrs GOF.Agree with your sentiments, though, GOF.

  5. I love the fact you converse with inanimate objectsWell Pete, I have been a little short of companionship lately and the responses I got from the tap were far more intelligent than those I get when talking to myself.Keep the smile GOF, and a long distance yaay from me!I'm hoping that this is not a typographical error where the third last word was supposed to be "away". :-)Thanks for entering into the spirit of the story.

  6. That is one sarcastic water fountainYes, in future I will look for a better one to talk to.Good point you raise about future effects of ingredients in the plastic. Not of course for the first time are there concerns about the methods of reticulating water. Metal pipes, both lead and copper have been implicated with health issues in the past.

  7. Where is the "sponsored by Coke" advertising?I think I've just been placed on the parent companies hit list Pete.

  8. Talking to water fountains, eh. And worse, they're answering you! Hurry home Mrs GOF.I think you make a quite valid point Mr. Snowy. 🙂

  9. I was at a club in the city a couple of months ago and asked for a glass of water. The guy gave me a bottle of water. I said no, I'd like it in a glass from the tap. The guy then informed me establishment policy was to provide bottled water only (at a price of $4 a bottle, mind you), then gave me a glass filled with ice and told me I could fill it up in the toilet taps. FFS. The same thing happened at Tarwin Lower pub at New Year's Eve, but their tap water comes from a bore and is about the same colour as wee, so I bought the damn Mt Franklin in the end (all the while drunkenly raving "Bore water? You should what kind of water I grew up on, buddy! I drank out of giardia infested swamps! What are you around here, a bunch of wusses?")

  10. I think fear of litigation drove Councils to remove all the drinking fountains in the first place, and maybe the same applies to water in the clubs.So impressed with your pub rant……in 33 years time when Elle is paddling me in my heavenly canoe around that big giardia infested swamp in the sky, I know 60 yo Inga will be maintaining the blogging rage, and maybe, just maybe, even talking to inanimate objects and getting answers back. (part of the "something to look forward to" requirement for happiness 🙂

  11. I think it is scary that the bubbler is talking back!!

  12. First off, the post was very informative. I loved having the information.
    Second to Emmi, could you explain how the bottled water can create gender neutral hair? Also, what is gender neutral hair?
    I usually just drink from the water that comes out of my refrigerator. I actually researched what kind of water we would have if we moved to our current house and was pretty pleased. I think it is something everyone should consider when rellocating.


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