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Playing with her toys

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In 1979, the position of Mrs GOF became available for the second time after management found it necessary to terminate the unsupportive, disloyal and disruptive services of the incumbent.

In anticipation of a stampede of candidates seeking to fill the role,
I took the liberty of drafting a job description, mission statement, and applicant selection guidelines that were significantly more rigorous than those which applied to the original hastily accepted applicant.

Near the top of this document  (Item 2, section (c) to be precise)
was the following non-negotiable requirement;

"You must possess the proven ability, or exhibit a willingness to learn how, to mix concrete."

Unfortunately, upon perusing this document, the entire horde of eager young supermodels and hot-to-trot starlets milling around my front doorstep surprisingly and quite hastily beat a retreat in search of some other piece of less demanding masculine hunkhood.

And just as well that they did so too, because I was then able to snare the most competent feminine concrete mixer the planet has ever known.

Mixing good concrete is an art.  Different applications require delicate adjustments to the relative amounts of sand, gravel, cement and water used.  Foundation concrete for example requires a higher proportion of cement than does a garden paver, retaining wall or a replica of the Statue of David. 
Being able to producing the perfect concrete mix is one of the truly great accomplishments of life.

Mrs GOF has mixed it on sheets of flat iron and in buckets and wheelbarrows, but her ultimate moment of exhilaration occurred on one day in 2006 when we were able to afford a genuine Chinese concrete mixing machine.

She does not find happiness in diamond rings or Gucci glamour.
(something to do with a single gross error of judgement she made in 1979) 
Her euphoria derives from manufacturing a mixer bowl full of concrete with perfect consistency.
When I return with empty wheelbarrow, having just sculpted the previous load into some distant garden item of GOF artistry and see her, my equal partner in creative pursuits, shovel in hand, with smiling head rotating at 25 RPM in sync with the machine, I know that I will have yet another exquisite batch of raw material with which to work one more aesthetic masterpiece.

And, when the job is finished, I find her irresistibly and sensually covered in sweat and cement dust with work boots coated in half-set concrete.

The God of Compatibility was looking after me in 1979.

(Ed;  I think GOF must be missing his absent little concrete-mixer mate.

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About GOF

"Life is like a sewer. What you get out of it, depends upon what you put into it." (Tom Lehrer)

15 responses »

  1. I thought for sure this was leading to the happy couple frolicing under the lawn sprinkler to remove the cement dust. Then I remembered you get so much rain you probably don't own a sprinkler.What a fine specimen of a partner you have scored, GOF. Liz is not into makeup and gucci stuff either which led the local Avon lady to offer an attempted insult of "So you're a country girl?" We accepted the comment as a high level of praise.

  2. Wow. This is the most romantic thing I've read all year. πŸ™‚

  3. "frolicing under the sprinkler"There's a limit to the amount of information the world needs to know πŸ™‚ "So you're a country girl?" Nothing wrong with that. Australia was built largely on the unsung efforts of "country girls"

  4. Wow. This is the most romantic thing I've read all year. πŸ™‚ That's all the encouragement I need LOM.I'm gonna buy me a mansion, some poofy little dogs, cross-dress in fluffy pink gowns, call myself Dame GOF, and start writing romance novels for a living. πŸ™‚

  5. If they feature country gals who know a good cement mix when they see one, I'd be all behind that, GOF. Just let me know when you're headed this way on your first book signing. πŸ˜€

  6. Just let me know when you're headed this way on your first book signing. There is much more in store for you LOM…I would like to appoint you as my literary *choke* agent for the entire North American continent. You can organise all the book signings. (Appears they may well be quite lonely events…jus' you and me πŸ™‚

  7. Wow, GOF! A wonderful and thoughtful post which is both full of slight comedic tones subtly underlined by a bit of Mills and Boon. You old romantic, you!
    Seriously though, Mrs GOF sounds like a wonderful woman. Truly wonderful. May 2010 bring more happiness to you both, and for many more years after that.
    1979 eh? Hmm. The year management found it necessary to terminate the unsupportive, disloyal and disruptive services of the incumbent – a very positive step forward – and coincidentally the year this grumpy young git was born. Turns out every action does have an equal and opposite reaction

  8. Thanks Pete.Mrs GOF sounds like a wonderful woman.Mainly wonderful for putting up with me for all these years and still having a smile on her face.Now your story about 1979 makes me feel really old …..ho-hum guess I have to face reality sooner or later πŸ™‚

  9. Hold on there GOF! Age is but only a number. You are as young as the girl you feel. Keep the smile on your face, it'll make the rest of the world wonder what you're up to.

  10. GOF: Gosh, Pete even makes me feel old, the wee spring chicken.
    Pete, don't you mean "as young as the girl you wish to feel"? I mean, give GOF a chance here.
    Oh yeah… and GOF, have you been on the sauce while Mrs GOF is away? I expected you to be sharp enough to note that "the year" was only eight and a half hours old when I wrote that comment. πŸ˜›

  11. This is fabulous! At the recent wedding I was the only member of the extended female section of the bridal party who did not go to a hair and makeup appointment on the wedding morning. I don't know what that says about me but probably means you can't take the country out of the girl….I remember mixing cement in a wheelbarrow with a shovel – if you slackened off it started setting and then you'd get shouted at!

  12. You are as young as the girl you feel.My point exactly/ πŸ™‚

  13. I remember mixing cement in a wheelbarrow with a shovel Thanks Emjay….I think all rural kids have memories like this.Hope you never lose the "country" in the girl.

  14. It warms my heart to hear how you speak about Mrs GOF. In this day and age it's a rarity. You're a wonderful man, and that is all I will say on the matter. What you two have is very special, and I can only hope that in a couple of years when I hit your age that I have the same feelings about Jemma that you do about Mrs GOF.

  15. Thank you Pete. That is so kind and I really do appreciate your comments, and I wish for you and Jemma all the good experiences and emotions in life that Mrs GOF and I share.


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