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Cooking with GOF; Day 1 of 7

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Mrs GOF has just winged it to Minnesota to visit with her brother for 5 weeks.
 
She thinks I can't cook.

Well, unbeknownst to her, I have been absorbing knowledge by osmosis from the 23 television cooking shows that she insists on watching each week.
I am not interested in fancy haute-cuisine celebrity dishes.
A spit-roasted Jamie Oliver served in rich spicy sweet luscious and succulent Nigella sauce does not appeal to me.

I need down-to-earth food for one.  
(unless I get lucky at one of my M.C. Hammer tribute gigs in which case I might need to prepare a banquet.)

Every day for the rest of this week in The Bucket you will be privy to the finest gourmet selections from my culinary repertoire.

1. GOF's happy porridge.

1 loosely clenched fistful of rolled oats.
 1 tightly clenched fistful of sultanas.
 1 poofteenth of salt to taste.

Submerge ingredients in water and boil until it looks soft.
If, after plating up it is still too al dente, put it back in the saucepan and cook some more.  Re-serve, this time avoiding the charcoal layer on the bottom. The dog seems to like that.
 
PS  Plates are optional if you prefer minimal washing up.

2. GOF Signature Sandwich

Include salad ingredients of your choice restrained on the bottom by a slice of soy linseed bread and on the top by 2 lettuce leaves.

  

3. GOF's Stew

Ingredients as illustrated or any assortment of your choice.
Diced, pulverised, or julienned (huh….get a load of my gourmand vocabulary now Mrs Gof.)

Into a saucepan drizzle one inch of water, a smidgin of chicken stock and other condiments of your choice, then bring to the boil, progressively loading ingredients according to the amount of cooking time necessary to make each one edible. 
(this is an intricate and complex procedure, so please refer to my Order of Ingredient Insertion graph)

Drain off the liquid if you remember. 
Invert saucepan directly onto plate.
Clean up all the mess off the table if you didn't remember.

Voila.

Plated up. 

Bon appetit.

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About GOF

"Life is like a sewer. What you get out of it, depends upon what you put into it." (Tom Lehrer)

21 responses »

  1. Wot, no cassowary casserole?

    Reply
  2. This is the most excellent food post ever!

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  3. Is that a rounded poofteenth or a level poofteenth?
    I am so looking foward to tomorrow's menu!

    Reply
  4. I think you're putting the gerbils in a little too early, but that's just my taste. I don't like them overdone, personally.

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  5. Wot, no cassowary casserole? Patience, young man.To achieve this level of culinary excellence you need to walk before you run. πŸ™‚

    Reply
  6. This is the most excellent food post ever! WOOHOO!!!!! I knew I was writing something world shattering. :-)Thanks m-t.

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  7. Is that a rounded poofteenth or a level poofteenth?It is a metric poofteenth FD…..it was standardised in 1988 after some confusion with the old avoirdupois poofteenth .

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  8. I think you're putting the gerbils in a little too earlyNormally I would agree with you LOM,…… they should go in at around the same time as the potatoes. But these were a couple of pensioner male gerbils and of course, as you would be aware, they are not as tender as your standard gerbilette.Thank you for paying attention and taking these matters seriously. πŸ™‚

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  9. Love it. What the world of TV is missing is 'Cooking with GOF', a regular dose of culinary wisdom. Although I have to confess that I don't know what a 'silverbeet' is…

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  10. Thank you GOF, I just had an epic laughing fit of Mrs Gof-esque proportions. (which, happily, distracted me from the unsettling visual of your lonesome self chattering away to your creepy blank-eyed friends, a la Tom Hanks in Castaway).

    Reply
  11. Oy, I might be creepy, but I'm not blank-eyed (or was it the other way around???).
    ….ohhhhhh.

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  12. Oh GOF. WWRRS??
    (What Would Rachel Ray Say)?

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  13. Thank you Vicola. Silverbeet is our version of spinach……not quite the same….it grows with a bigger greener leaf.

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  14. your lonesome self chattering away to your creepy blank-eyed friends, a la Tom Hanks in Castaway). Please have a little more respect for Mrs Gof's pets. Especially the dog…….but you pretty accurately described her cat. πŸ™‚

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  15. (What Would Rachel Ray Say)?" My present source of income is under no threat" πŸ™‚

    Reply
  16. Oh the old avoirdupois confusion – trap for young chefs every time! I am glad that you explained as it would have ruined the whole meal for Mr FD when he prepares it.
    WHERE IS TODAY"S (THURSDAY) EFFORT? Are you taking care of yourself…

    Reply
  17. aren't you her little pet, GOF?

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  18. aren't you her little pet, GOF?Aaarchtpht!….sorry FD, almost accidentally choked on my Cornflakes.Apologies for the delay…..I have come up with some sort of explanation for you. πŸ™‚

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  19. some sort of explanation – yep certainly some sort of explanation!

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  20. Wow! you started off brilliantly. Left alone the manservant has one dish that he makes; it requires a wok, a lot of chllies, a lot of prawns, some spaghetti sauce and some pasta – he would eat this breakfast, lunch and dinner but finds that he can buy "super size" "meals" for the week for the cost of his prawns.

    Reply
  21. I think if I had easy access to a takeaway food shop, they might be doing some extra business at the moment πŸ™‚

    Reply

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