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Back on the road again

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Mr Gates, despite all his good work, is a tricky little man.
He often flashes little messages up onto my computer screen.
Very few are complimentary in nature.
They are never along the lines of; "Well done GOF" or
"Your 2-finger typing is like ballet on a keyboard"

My computering is punctuated by messages that Windows has "encountered an error", occasionally a "fatal error," and that my "discs needed to be checked for consistency" as though they were some sort of dough or pudding mixture going into the oven.

Last week, just before I found it necessary to "have serious words" with my old computer, I thought he was giving me some wonderful news for a change.
He informed me that I have "Root Certificates."

Root Certificates?


Celebrations were short lived because he went on to inform me that several of these Certificates were "missing", in an explanation for why Firefox and most other loaded applications had bitten the dust.

The only place I could find where they could possibly have gotten out, was a few holes on the back, and while I was taping over them with duct tape to make sure no more of them escaped, I discovered something else loose inside which was just spinning around uselessly making a whole lot of breeze.

GOF fixed that with a six inch nail and superglue.

Now I am back in business again with a cheap, but adequately-endowed-with-RC's new computer, but if you see a few of my "Root Certificates" floating around in the wind near your place, could you please post them back to The Bucket.

PS.  If any of my neighbours with computer savvy could suggest a possible cause and remedy for my deficiency of root certificates I will be most grateful. 
If you ever need advice on problems growing sweet potatoes I will always be at your service.

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About GOF

"Life is like a sewer. What you get out of it, depends upon what you put into it." (Tom Lehrer)

10 responses »

  1. Welcome back! Unfortunately, I am not as computer savvy as I would like to be. I am however on a mac at the moment. I had enough of my PCs and their bloody viruses. 😦

  2. Welcome back, GOF. It's been rather quiet around here lately. Why didn't you ask? I've got a stack of those Root Certificates lying around here somewhere. I thought they were prizes for my gardening skills. Come to think of it, they must have been forgeries, as I couldn't even grow sweet potatoes.

  3. Thank you Amorette.I have never heard anyone say anything bad about macs so it is something I should keep in mind for the future.

  4. Thanks Snowy.Are you sure you didn't knock off some of my Root Certificates?Mine were not forgeries. I bought them at the Root Certificate Warehouse.

  5. Welcome back. Any root certificates I found would not work for you, as they would be upside down.

  6. Thank you. But I could sit my computer on its head GOM….then they'd work. Wouldn't they???

  7. Unsure if you are seriously considering repairing the old beast, but if you have a look here and download the rootsupd.exe package, you may well be able to update the root certificates on your machine.However if not, keep that machine at The Bucket, and when I come visit you I will fix it. I have ways of making them boot.

  8. Thank you for your advice PG. I certainly won't throw it away. All the usual "windows" bits seem to work…..just browser, zonealarm etc. crashed and I can't remove them to reload again because "root certificate is missing."I was thinking of learning how to delete everything then re-load windows fresh from the discs I made when the computer was new. (now you have a good idea of my incompetence with computers 😉 That way Mrs GOF could use it for her photography work.Meanwhile I am enjoying this laptop…and it also uses waaay less of my valuable solar power resources.

  9. I thought those certificates came as part of the marriage contract but discovered to my cost they were only part of the prenuptial commitment.Seems young Billy bought all mine up and has been screwing me via the OS ever since.No. Liz doesn't blog much.

  10. We are a house of macs so never have any of those problems. But, I have a PC at work which is always telling me that it has to check discs for consistency. It then takes 40 + minutes to do it – even if I press every key to try to prevent it starting this process (even though it tells me that pressing any key will stop this check from starting – it's lying!!) It always gives me a laugh to see it telling me that it is locating "orphan" files – but then I get worried when it tells me it is deleting files…… I imagine it finishing up with a message saying: Congratulations! 100% of your files have now been deleted.


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