I am writing in to your help column because last week when I visited the local wildlife safari place, the man who looks after the ostriches gave me an ostrich egg to take home. They don't want to keep them at the zoo, because if they all hatched then they would have too many ostriches to look after.
I thought it might be a good idea to give the egg to Mrs Gof.
The picture I am sending you shows just how very big this ostrich egg is, but I have some questions that I need your help for.
Do you know how long she will have to sit on it for?
If it is for a really long time, can she take some hours off, maybe when it's warm in the middle of the day so the egg won't go cold, to do all the cooking and cleaning and fix the things that break in the house and mow the lawn and do the shopping?
I am a bit worried that with all the attention she will need to give to the egg, I might end up being a little bit deprived of some attention myself, if you know what I mean Dorothy.
Maybe it would be for the best if I just threw it away. It might cause a whole lot of trouble like the Coke bottle did in "The Gods Must Be Crazy".
Because I don't have enough money to buy your magazine I hope you will be able to send a reply straight back to me.