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Just farnarkling

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The word "farnarkling" has become firmly entrenched in the GOF family lexicon.  From the verb "to farnarkle" it was coined in Australia back in the days when television pictures only came in black and white.
It means to waste time, fart around, or otherwise indulge in an unproductive occupation.

For a brief time it was frivolously redeployed as the name for a team sport where underwear was worn on the outside of normal clothing.  This was however only a temporary perversion of its true etymology.

When Globet was born I tried my very best to ensure "farnarkle" was the very first word she would annunciate to the world.  It was not to be.  She was a miserable failure in that regard, merely siding with the masses by uttering something predictable like "mama" or "ice cream" through the dribble and bubbles.

A word which rolls so beautifully off the tongue obviously deserves wider promulgation.  
This is why I am placing it before my intelligent and discerning readership.  It is a word which, among many applications, also elegantly and succinctly describes the process of blogging.  Are we not, every single one of us, simply farnarkling.  Could we not be doing something more useful with our lives?
I mean, for heavens sake, right at this moment you are reading an epistle of drivel penned by some odd dude called GOF.  And I have spent a lot of potentially productive time writing this rubbish.
I rest my case m'lud.

In an attempt to introduce farnarkling to a level of International acceptance I have taken the liberty of drafting an amendment to the Greenpeace Constitution Clause 7 item (d).

" Our Organisation will cease to farnarkle with the Japanese whaling fleet by indulging in such farnarkling activities as throwing abuse and paint bombs.
We are deeply indebted to Mr GOF of Australia who has manufactured for us a very large harpoon equipped with a small but adequate explosive device sufficient to promptly relocate one whaling mother ship to the floor of the ocean.
This one simple action will effectively and promptly terminate all illegal commercial-whaling-in-the-name- of-research activities.
We need not be concerned at ramifications from International Courts of Law who have reputations for ineffectiveness and farnarkling second to none.  No legal decision against us will be made for at least 50 years, by which time whale populations will have returned to normal, and populous pods of them will be happily farnarkling in the oceans of the world. "

And who said blogging can't change our planet?

So, my friends, go forth and farnarkle.

I think I might just go forth and seek some psychiatric help.

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About GOF

"Life is like a sewer. What you get out of it, depends upon what you put into it." (Tom Lehrer)

23 responses »

  1. My tribe never used "farnarkling". We obviously weren't as classy as yours, GOF. Which will be no surprise to those who know me.

  2. Thanks for the addition to the vocabulary. I hold that posting and reading blogs, though, are not unproductive.Just this week I learned two terms – your "farnarkling" … and "Christ with tulips!" from LOM (although that's a bastardization of her use of those same words …).Considering my decidedly brown thumb, gardening would be a much bigger waste of time.

  3. I wouldn't be spending to much money on seeking Psych help just yet.You still have your eager audience to entertain.

  4. I believe that I have indeed been farnarkling all my life, and may have even taken it to new lows!

  5. I will try to bring farnarkle to the Midwestern U.S.. I have to sadly report that "cactussed" isn't catching on with the coworkers. They're nonplussed at best and annoyed at worst. That said, I've only used it about 3 times. It's my fault, I'll have to apply myself better to the task!ps: this will be with my weird hybrid accent, so you know…rather hard Rs and sharp As.

  6. My tribe "classy"???!! Sheesh….almost choked on my breakfast Snowy.

  7. LOM's "Christ with tulips" certainly was some quality blogging……I suppose the world will somehow stagger along without "farnarkling" being in its vocabulary.

  8. Thanks FD…haven't we all.

  9. I think I should be OK just as long as I keep taking the tablets.

  10. Thanks m-t…..perhaps you need to deliberately create circumstances at work after which you will need to use "cactussed"…..perhaps throw a coffee machine onto the floor and follow it with "Oh dear, I do believe our coffee machine is now terminally cactussed" Eventually they might get the message.

  11. You! "Everything" was cactussed Wednesday; it was all I could do to just keep swearing and threatening voilence to not boo-hoo. Things are looking up now! Time to farnarkle.How's my Aussie coming along?

  12. English, I'm still working on: violence

  13. You are now officially an honorary Aussie. Just remember to use "poofteenth" as a unit of measurement from now on.;-)

  14. "Fart-arse" was always a favourite of mine – as in "stop fart-arsing around"; "you would get more done if you weren't fart-arsing around"; "stop fart-arsing and decide now".See, I am fart-arsing about hereon your blog so I don't have to clean up the kitchen!

  15. I tried some of this on Mrs PeteGraham. It kinda went "For the poofteenth time, stop fart-arsing around, go the the fridge and farnarkle me up a beer". The answer to which ended in "off" and began with something resembling "procreate". Needless to say I got my own beer, then cooked dinner by way of an apology. The fact I was practising my Aussie didn't smooth the situation at all, it resembled somewhat a McCoy's crisp…

  16. Do you kids over-under there have "ump-teenth?" We use ump-teenth all the time. It should be easy enough to change to poof-teenth.That's awesome that I'm now an honorary Aussie. It's like speaking at a uni and getting those fake degrees. I'm all for it!

  17. Thats another one I had forgotten. Thanks for reminding me….we certainly used it a lot when we were growing up.

  18. You can only do your best in this world.She was just having a bad day. Try again tomorrow.This blog comes with a relationships warning;It does absolutely nothing to enhance them.

  19. Yes Professor M-T, we do have ump-teenth. We are trying to get rid of it for the "ump" prefix implies uncertainty, whereas "poof" is a more definite article.

  20. I concur. "Ump" sounds too much like the noise I make when I get up out of a chair. In another couple of decades, I expect it to sound more like "poof."

  21. Reblogged this on Captsavage's Blog and commented:
    Well, I work in a government agency just overflowing with world champion farnarklers, farnarkling like crazy, as they have been doing with my review (last post). Have they signed off on it? Hell No… Still more farnarkling apparently to be done. CS

    • Thank you Captain. I once worked for a Government department for 12 years so I know precisely what you are talking about.
      Thanks for dropping by and leaving a comment.


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