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The correction collection

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If you, dear reader, require corrective lenses in order to read my words, then I am sympathetic to your sight deficiency.  Firstly I would point out that at this precise moment you could perhaps be making better use of the technology than reading this rubbish, but I really do understand your plight because I have required glasses for 53 years to correct shortsightedness.

I am an understanding and sympathetic man.


Should however, I come across any old classmates of mine squinting at items in the supermarket and holding them at arms length in the vain hope of being able to read the ingredients, then I will have the following appropriate response;


for you were the ones who derided me in school as "goggle eyes" and "four eyes".
The absolute wonder of being myopic is that I can still read the fine print unassisted.

One person for whom I must necessarily have empathy is Mrs GOF.  She has reached a certain age where I have become a useful object to have around to decipher the tiny and the miniscule.

I am obviously unreliable, for I have been partially replaced by the collection illustrated above. 
This is only her "living room collection".  There are others that I know of residing in the bedroom and the car, and, I suspect, even though I have neither the inclination or right to excavate there, in her handbag.
I also have evidence that somewhere under this roof is an Optical Appliance Infirmary, accommodating everything she has sat on, stood upon or otherwise irreparably damaged.

Now I admit to having 3 pairs of glasses, for long distance, computer reading, and for reading music.

Why on earth does one human being require so many glasses?

I have no idea, and certainly no intention of asking, for I know that it will be an invitation to a lengthy dissertation on the origin, history, purpose and likely fate of every single one in the collection.
Mrs GOF, whilst having no shortage of glasses, has an even lesser shortage of words and explanations.

Perhaps she is some sort of spectacular visionary well beyond the understanding of a simple man.

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About GOF

"Life is like a sewer. What you get out of it, depends upon what you put into it." (Tom Lehrer)

7 responses »

  1. oh this is superb – having had glasses for some 37 years I understand exactly! My sister is a version of Mrs GOF too!
    Mr FD and I have graduated lens now so no more multiple pairs!

  2. I thought I'd have a collection like that, because I hated bifocals. Then I found "no-line" bifocals … and wonder how I ever lived without them! My very dark sunglasses that I have to wear outdoors are NOT bifocals … and I feel half blind when wearing them.

  3. Thank you FD, and Grouch Old Man too.I once tried bifocals and found them a health hazard when I was working around tractors and farm machinery ….because of the distorted vision in the lower half of the glasses I was constantly misjudging distance and bumping into things.I am wondering if the graduated lenses you both speak of might eliminate the problem I had?

  4. That's the same problem I had with my first pair of bifocals that I wore for a whole 1 day before getting them changed. My job involves 'arms length' work … and everything was so distorted I couldn't use them. This other type works much better.

  5. Thanks GOM….I think I wore my bifocals for the same length of time:-)I will try your sort of lenses next time I need to upgrade.

  6. LOL. My manservant is starting to come in handy when I require labels read. By taking his glasses off he can read far smaller print than my reading glasses allow me to.

  7. It makes us feel good to know we are valued servants 😉


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