(Ed; The Bucket acknowledges that many opinions expressed by GOF in these pages are quite obviously the result of inadequate or even zero research. Occasionally he is sent on fact-finding excursions to remedy this imbalance.
On reflection it is probably best for his own welfare that he remain in his bush retreat and continue writing unresearched rubbish.)
Men of the world are constantly reminded of the offence they cause to women by habitually gazing at their chests instead of their eyes.
Why then, do so many women choose to wear tee shirts with mysterious and attractive messages emblazoned across the front if they don't want us to look there?
An example if I may from my recent exhaustive shopping centre studies.
(There was to be an accompanying photographic portfolio with this story, except the mean security guard confiscated my memory cards.)
"The best just got better" was worn rather snugly by a member of my random sample group.
Pondering what lay behind these five words I found a couple of quite magnificent opportunities for semantic palpation.
Who previously judged what was "best"?,
and who gets to decide whats "better"?.
And the ever perplexing "best what?".
To assist with my intellectual closure, I accordingly manoeuvred myself several times into strategic positions within the shopping centre, to re-read the message, just to make sure there was no additional fine print lurking beneath in the shadows, which I might have missed on earlier viewings.
Security guards apparently have no respect for the honest pursuit of knowledge.
The picture of me which appeared on the front page of the local newspaper was totally unflattering.
And the fingerprinting ink won't wash off either.
I have pleaded "not guilty" to all seven charges.
Having chosen to conduct my own defense, I now have the onerous task of studying legal statutes, and maybe some precedent, in the unlikely event that someone in the past did what I did.
GOF will be absent from The Bucket for the next 4 days.