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Mysteries of life #38.24.36; Mixed messages

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(Ed;   The Bucket acknowledges that many opinions expressed by GOF in these pages are quite obviously the result of inadequate or even zero research.   Occasionally he is sent on fact-finding excursions to remedy this imbalance.
On reflection it is probably best for his own welfare that he remain in his bush retreat and continue writing unresearched rubbish.)

Men of the world are constantly reminded of the offence they cause to women  by habitually gazing at their chests instead of their eyes.

Why then, do so many women choose to wear tee shirts with mysterious and attractive messages emblazoned across the front if they don't want us to look there?  

An example if I may from my recent exhaustive shopping centre studies.
(There was to be an accompanying photographic portfolio with this story, except the mean security guard confiscated my memory cards.)

"The best just got better"  was worn rather snugly by a member of my random sample group.

Pondering what lay behind these five words I found a couple of quite magnificent opportunities for semantic palpation.  
Who previously judged what was "best"?,
and who gets to decide whats "better"?.  
And the ever perplexing "best what?". 

To assist with my intellectual closure, I accordingly manoeuvred myself several times into strategic positions within the shopping centre, to re-read the message, just to make sure there was no additional fine print lurking beneath in the shadows, which I might have missed on earlier viewings.

Security guards apparently have no respect for the honest pursuit of knowledge.

The picture of me which appeared on the front page of the local newspaper was totally unflattering.

And the fingerprinting ink won't wash off either.

I have pleaded "not guilty" to all seven charges.
Having chosen to conduct my own defense, I now have the onerous task of studying legal statutes, and maybe some precedent, in the unlikely event that someone in the past did what I did.

GOF will be absent from The Bucket for the next 4 days. 

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About GOF

"Life is like a sewer. What you get out of it, depends upon what you put into it." (Tom Lehrer)

10 responses »

  1. LOL! This is exactly why I don't wear any tops emblazoned with letters. Further, I am 5' 8" tall so even in moderate heels I seem to be taller than quite a few men …. there is no use talking to my chest – it will not answer!

  2. You might have to carry over the sign banning to Tee shirts.Ah. The thirst for knowledge is no longer acceptable. Put it in the same bucket as photographing buildings for the architecture.The Missus tried to get me to give a $1 coin to a toddler to give to a busker in Melb one day. Are you crazy? I could do time for that.

  3. Gof GOF GOF! What are we going to do with you, beside bake you a cake with a file? We keep our hands to ourself, remember? Look but don't touch.
    When I was in retail and forced to wear a name badge I always wore it up near my collar, otherwise men would stare at my nipple area and say things like, thank you FLAMINGO DANCER, emphasising my name as an excuse for looking at my chest…and I always wanted to get another badge that says "this one is called….". It was about that time I got out of retail.

  4. Very funny … thanks!Another dilemma is – if you don't want it looked at, why flaunt it with extremely low cut necklines? And some – I wonder why the heck they bother flaunting it at all?Thanks to an eye condition, I have to wear extremely dark glasses in daylight hours. Hint … hint.

  5. Man I could rant on and on about this one 😉 I know what you're saying. Women want to be treated with respect but they wear things that would suggest otherwise. They know excatly what they are doing but when some guy says something or makes a note of something they pretend like they are being accosted. And, if by chance, they aren't self-aware…then be aware. It could only mean psycho-bitch.
    One often gets this excuse of "I should be able to wear what I want..blah..blah…blah." Nowadays, add to that, women talking with a high-pitched mousy, silly, valley-girl jargon. All of the behavior that stereotypically suggest "bimbo" for example. At first Dave and I thought it was simply the young ladies in their twenties, but we've heard it from women in their thirties and forties too. It seems to me that women are saying "We're dumb, we're shallow, and don't you dare look at my boobs!"

  6. Thanks for your story Emjay.I am not sure if the following enhances this discussion, but I saw a bumpersticker over the weekend;"Men would love me for my mind if it bounced gently while I walked."

  7. Learn to do in impression of a Japanese tourist Peter…then you can photograph anything.Wise man to keep away from the kids though. Cairns has a wonderful artificial lagoon/swimming pool. They have guards ready to whisk away any man who has any device which might be capable of taking pictures of children.

  8. Thank you FD for the offer to bake a cake……it does however seem to imply that you have little faith in my legal abilities.Well I guess you have been reading my blog for so long you are probably aware of my inadequacies.

  9. I am going to have to make you my social advisor GOM. You have so much urban wisdom to pass on to this innocent country boy.

  10. Thank you HH….its always good to have your view of the world.Most of the women I know are quite happy to see that men admire the way they look. And its probably best that they think that way, for, lets be honest, we are never, ever, going to stop looking.


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