RSS Feed

Mysteries of Life; #18 High heels

Posted on

At what point in human evolution did Mother Nature make an error of such physiological magnitude that it required a major structural adjustment to the angle of incidence between the foot and the earths surface?

Why is it only the female of the species which requires correction?
(I've lived a sheltered life and perhaps do not need to know if this is an incorrect assumption on my part).
I will go down to the nearest building site, find a big burly labourer and ask if he would like to assist me with my research by wearing a nice little pink stiletto number for a week or so and see if it improves his traction and work performance.

Is it really good fun to walk around in high heels, and perhaps something I should try next time I go to town?
Something to put on my bucket list?

I am aware there are biometric justifications for women wearing high heels.  Something to do with a chain of events which increases the "wiggliness" of other female body parts, making the whole package a more attractive sexual proposition.

Now I personally have never had a problem being attracted to the original natural design. Unenhanced.  Unelevated.  Quite the opposite, a lot of my difficulties in life were directly resultant from being attracted to women of the world wearing flats, workboots, gumboots, or, best of all totally nude feet.

I would dearly like to start GOF's Flat Feet movement to ban high heels and bring back bare feet and biologically sensible footwear, but I am presently in hiding from one very angry builders labourer who has used some extremely bad language to me, and made certain threats against my manhood and physical wellbeing.

Read and post comments |
Send to a friend

About GOF

"Life is like a sewer. What you get out of it, depends upon what you put into it." (Tom Lehrer)

4 responses »

  1. I have a vague memory that it was actually men who wore the first high heels…and it is men who have been manufacturing them ever since
    signed by one who does not wear high heels

  2. Sure … go ahead and wear a pair the next time you go to town …And, yes, there are heels on men's "shoes" in my neck of the woods … but they are primarily worn to keep the feet from sliding through the stirrups.

  3. You probably saw my labourer walking down the street……maybe he subsequently went in to manufacturing.

  4. Horse riding boots will be exempt so long as they are not pink, and you are very generous by encouraging me to make an idiot of myself. Or, maybe I'll find myself some really nice new friends attracted to my footwear??


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: