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Parasitology; An Introduction

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I have a particular disdain for individuals and professions which exist by parasitising our society.
I am proud of Australias system of support for disadvantaged citizens, but there is a proportion of able-bodied people who abuse the system and consider it their birthright to be supported financially with benefits paid for by the taxes of those who  work for a living. The public purse in Australia does not provide an adequate deterrent or discouragement for these non paying passengers.  Many claiming "disability" pensions somehow regularly seem to get a miraculous relief from their symptoms which enables them to push lawn mowers around and do mechanical repairs on their taxpayer subsidised cars.

Real estate agents syphon off unrealistic proportions of money for conducting services of dubious value.  They piggyback on the success of others.  Why they are allowed to charge a percentage of property sale value as their own, instead of a fee commensurate with their meagre service is totally beyond my understanding. Perhaps it has something to do with the final paragraphs below.

Corporations, businessmen (and maybe women) use offshore tax havens and other legislative loopholes to avoid contributing to the revenue of the country which enabled them to make the money in the first place. It might be legal, but that does not make it ethical or right, and it transfers a greater financial burden to the working salary earners of Australia.  This definitely has a whole lot to do with the final paragraphs below.

At first glance used car salesmen might seem worthy candidates in any discussion of parasitic professions.  There is however, something honorable and admirable in a person who has the talent to convince someone that my old pile of crap could indeed be their dream come true.  Their pride and glory.  Used car salesmen are the Lords of Recycling and should be regarded with some sort of reverence.  Their remuneration is also more or less appropriate to the service they provide.


Q.   What do you call 10 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?
A.    A good start.

An old, widely promulgated, and not particularly humane attempt at humor. One which I should condemn totally lest it be used as evidence of premeditation against me in a court of law if, coincidentally, some submerged bodies are discovered in my vicinity.

Let me explain my thoughts as gently and succinctly as I am able.
Lawyers are an abomination of Western culture.  They perpetuate the "legal system" in the interests of their own greed and self aggrandisement.  They are the primary impediment to real and affordable justice, which should be the inalienable right of all people, rich or poor, living in a civilised society.   
They have, over time, by infiltrating political systems, the Public Service, and covertly doing deals within the confines of exclusive mens-only clubs, managed to create an environment for their snouts to have permanent access to one of the worlds most financially lucrative feeding troughs.

Legal practice is a vanity and snobbery unequalled by almost any other profession.  It involves distorting the truth in an attempt to protect the guilty.  It involves the use of antiquated language and regalia, and pompous peacocking courtroom performance all designed to confuse and intimidate ordinary people, and justify being paid obscene amounts of money.  When their greed is not adequately satiated by defending the flow of criminals, they then seek to extract legitimately earned money from honest people. They call it personal litigation.  It is often simply the means by which the inept can suddenly become rich without the expenditure of effort.  A legal lottery whereby a small misadventure or indeed personal stupidity can be converted into a jackpot of riches for both claimant and lawyer.  

The legal profession is the ultimate parasite on society.
Perhaps we do not need it.

What would be wrong with a system whereby judges were selected from the respected and wise within our communities?
Let us, the accused, tell our own story, in our own simple language to a panel of these eminent elders.  Let us deliver our own defence, or, (horror of horrors) admission of guilt, directly to them and/or a jury of our peers.

Any intermediaries would then be surplus to requirements.
As they should be.

In his excellent book of common sense , "The Dead Horses",  Les Mohr makes a logical argument to delete all the thousands of laws in the statute books and replace them with three;
1. Causing harm
2. Attempting to cause harm
3. Behaving in a manner likely to cause harm.

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About GOF

"Life is like a sewer. What you get out of it, depends upon what you put into it." (Tom Lehrer)

4 responses »

  1. Unfortunately, most politicians are lawyers.

  2. I'll get to politicians sometime when I am really grumpy.

  3. One of the most unpleasant and mentally unbalanced females I have ever known was/is a lawyer, and I have to agree that this career choice calls an ordinate number of folks with a predilection for unsavory behaviour. I give most attorney types a wide berth now, and that is 100% due to her nastiness. I have to concur with you, Mr. GOF.

  4. My knowledge of individual lawyers is limited, but abhorrence for the whole profession was initiated by a couple of lawyers 35 years ago. My daughters best friend (who was a really nice honest and modest kid) is now a lawyer, and hope she has not changed. Your enjoyment of life can only be enhanced by avoiding lawyers altogether.


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