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Would you like carrion with that Sir?

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A recent local news story failed to be treated with appropriate gravity, or indeed be given the global distribution it deserved. CNN totally ignored it.
It concerned the deaths of a pigeon and an eagle who successfully inconvenienced a large number of human animals by flying into an electrical transformer in rapid succession,  causing blackouts over a substantial area of Cairns.
Coroners and electricians, after tireless investigation, dismissed the event as deaths by misadventure.

The truth may however reveal something more sinister.
The target power pole was located right outside a well known global takeaway chicken franchise, and begs the question whether some broader issue could have precipitated this event?
Avian anger may well be breeding a whole new generation of terrorists on the wing.   

Birds have often been misrepresented throughout history.  How many storks have been verbally abused and shot out of the skies after being falsely accused of dropping unwanted packages onto unsuspecting parents?
In the 1970's I was aware of a canned product from China purporting to be Braised Duck.   Bone fragments from these cans were sent to an Australian University for analysis.  Results; "unidentified rodent".   All the Muscovy, Indian Runner and Mallard community leaders of the world were appalled. They immediately summoned their Pekin counterpart, and fortunately a bloody global duckfrontation was avoided.   
This latest avian atrocity was obviously an act of premeditated sabotage.

So folks, when the ostriches march on the White House with rifles raised in protest at the continued folkloric aspersions being cast about their failure to address issues,  and thousands of emus confront Parliament house in Canberra with machine guns to resolve the injustice of being the Australian national emblem on one hand, and a nice juicy emu steak on the other, remember that old GOF predicted it first.

Well second actually;

Back in 1996 Dana Lyons in his epic and thought provoking musical masterpiece "Cows with guns" included the frightening narrative "We will fight for bovine freedom,  And hold our large heads high,  We will run free with the buffalo,  Or die"   and then conjured up the very real possibility of  "the deafening roar of chickens in choppers".

There are some really angry birds out there.

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About GOF

"Life is like a sewer. What you get out of it, depends upon what you put into it." (Tom Lehrer)

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