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Keeping Charltons dream alive

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Occasionally GOF has trouble with pesky critters who invade his vegetable garden, or neighbours who impinge upon his solitude.
In Australia you need to have an acceptable reason to own a firearm, have no criminal record, and pass a written safety examination  to be granted a licence to use one.
Unfortunately an annoying neighbour does not apparently fall within the parameters of "acceptable reason". However, being confronted with angry and hungry feral pigs on a regular basis does.  They are not easily negotiated with, and "shoo" does not immediately send them into rapid retreat.   A 410 solid projectile, on the other hand, does.  I do not ever feel the need to take my firearm to town for a couple of good reasons.  Firstly, no-one else carries a gun around town so there is no imminent threat to my wellbeing, and, secondly I prefer my own warm bed to that of the police lockup.
There seems to be an increasing awareness in the US that Charlton Heston (1924-2008) and the gun lobby's dream of guns for the masses is turning into a nightmare.  How many innocent children need to be gunned down in American schools before the issue of gun ownership is addressed.  I have considerable difficulty understanding the logic behind the right of every citizen to bear arms and its benefit to society.  Is it similar to vaccination?  If I carry a little pistol, will it give me immunity against somebody elses bigger weapon?
Being a caring citizen of the world I would like to offer a contribution to the debate;
There are two possible reasons for the apparent increase in gun related killings;

1. Charlton and the gun lobby are wrong.

2. Perhaps in the 21st century, guns no longer provide an adequate protection factor, and upgrading and expanding an individuals arsenal is long overdue.

Thus, civic duty has driven me to manufacture a very small personal nuclear device, with just sufficient power to eliminate  impediments to the happiness of the individual.   It resembles a matchbox and can easily be carried in the pocket or handbag, avoids detection by electronic systems, and is a perfect accessory for the harrassed individual, gang member, nutter, or corporate executive wishing to deter a hostile takeover bid.  It can be remotely triggered by a modified electronic car locking button, although it will be wise to clearly identify which one you use for your car.  Triggering the device whilst it is still in your pocket has adverse repercussions on your health.  It is kind to the environment and leaves no metallic residue or evidence of your involvement.  Everything within a 2 metre cubic volume will be vaporised.  Think of it as progressively cleaning up the littered world we live in.
Order now!   Phone within the next 20 minutes and receive a free mini cluster bomb attachment for even greater personal protection and safety.

How does one go about applying to be awarded the Nobel Peace Prize?

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About GOF

"Life is like a sewer. What you get out of it, depends upon what you put into it." (Tom Lehrer)

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