Over many years it has been my pleasure to have had meaningful love affairs with several of the worlds most beautiful women. Well, they have been meaningful to me. With an enduring sadness it is unfortunately my duty to report that precisely none of them have shown the slightest interest in me at all.
All that prevents me from suffering permanent psychological damage is the knowledge that at the very least I have selected women who have been very competent judges of character.
Mrs GOF has had to suffer constantly through my assorted flights of fantasy, but she good naturedly accepts it as part of the "for better or for worse" contract she acquired when she drew the short straw.
Not so accepting of my extracurricular activities is our 26 year old daughter Globet. (we didn't give her that name so no correspondence please) In a declaration bordering on elder-abuse she has banned me from admiring any woman younger than herself, and threatens to install me in a disreputable nursing home if I continue the practice. Almost wish I'd left her wallowing in dirty diapers longer than necessary in 1982.
I have made a short list of those who have made GOF's miserable existence just a little more tolerable during the past 30 years.
Jamie Lee Curtis, Megan Gale, Ali McGraw, Claudia Schiffer, Kristian Alfonso, and even sisters Elle and Mimi Macpherson, simultaneously. After lengthy deliberation I also include Catherine Bach in my list. It was a photo finish ……my lust for her and the car in The Dukes of Hazzard were of equal proportions.
I have sought therapy for my appalling obsessions, and now know that none of it is my fault. GOF first fell in at love in Grade 1 at the age of 5 with an older girl in grade 6 who was assigned to look after him in the small one roomed school he attended. Any deviant behaviour he has displayed in later life can surely be traced back to having been led astray at such a tender age by a 12 year old who insisted on holding his hand occasionally on his first day at school.
Thus it is a great pleasure to report that I am absolutely besotted with Mr and Mrs McCormicks little girl Megan.
Megan is a presenter on the Lonely Planet, Pilot Guides television travel documentaries.
We have travelled around so much of the world together in the last few years…..just the 2 of us. We have stayed at backpacker establishments, luxury hotels, traversed the worlds deserts, swamplands, mountains and oceans, and met a multitude of deviant little ethnic Romeos who have sought to get their grubby little paws on her.
Megan, my dear friend, you are the most competent travel presenter I have ever known. Your knowledge of the subject matter and the ability to communicate lengthy historical and informative monologues to camera make you the finest presenter the US, world, solar system, universe or cosmos has ever seen. You are respectful of the people and cultures you encounter, and reinforce my theory that most people on earth are decent and caring, and share similar human values. (except for the grubby little Romeos)
Oh…., and incidentally if you will permit me to be a little more shallow than normal for a moment…. you are totally gorgeous to look at.
Old GOF now needs another Librium and a lie down. Blogging is a health hazard.